Children, Honesty, and the Jiggle Game

Children are the world's very own comedians. Parents are more aware of this than anybody.

Although I do not have kids of my own, I have always been surrounded by them. Whether it be family, coaching, giving swim lessons, babysitting or life guarding at a pool, little kids are everywhere.

One of the best -and usually funniest - things about little kids is that they are so brutally honest. They are like a drunk with no filter.

Recently I have had the opportunity to babysit for a wonderful family, the Nee Nees. There are three children, Sissy, Smarty, and Smiley. Sissy is the oldest, the only girl, and 10 years old. Smarty is a cutie with harry potter style glasses and even though he is only 8 years old, he easily knows more scientific facts than the average American. The youngest is Smiley, a three year old boy with a beautiful heart and a bound full of energy.

As you may well imagine, I have had the funniest experiences with these kids. My self-esteem on the other hand doesn't quite think they are as entertaining as I do.

Smarty likes to play Animal Charades where we pretend we are an animal and the other person has to guess what animal you are acting out. This may sound easy, but let me just say, it is now in my top ten list of most challenging things I've ever done. I went first and decided to be a cat. After literally one second Smarty guessed it and narrowed his eyes at me.

Smarty: "That was way too easy. What do you think I am? An imbecile?"

Me: "Now Smarty, that isn't a nice word let's not say that anymore." (Secretly I thought it wasn't easy- it could have been a tiger or a lion you know...)

It was Smarty's turn. He starts crawling around and cups his hands behind his ears. Lord have Mercy, what is that  even supposed to mean?

Me: "Uhh a koala?"

Smarty: "No no, this animal is nocturnal." He is clearly frustrated.

My guessing and his annoyed responses go back and forth for several minutes and I finally give up.

Smarty: "It's a Fennec Fox!"

Me: "Ohhh that was going to be my next guess!"

In case you had the same reaction as I did when he told me the answer which was really, "What the hell is a Fennec Fox??" Have a look below.

We don't play Animal Charades very much anymore unless he gives me only the easy level ones and I give him the hard level ones. I have to look animals up on Google the day before to get some new ideas for him. Never thought I would do homework for babysitting.

One time I came to watch the kids I had a little make up on from the night before and my hair was down and still decently fixed. The children eyed me suspiciously when I walked into their kitchen that morning like I was a stranger.

Sissy: "Wow Snoodle, you actually look pretty when you have make up on!"

Gee thanks.

Smarty after a moment of speculation, didn't become interested once he realized it was only mascara that startled him instead of an alien coming into his house, and went back to inspecting his Cheerios.

Smiley: "You look weird."

Me: "Let's just watch Sponge Bob guys."

Another game that Smarty and Smiley like to play is the Jiggle Game. To play, one must jiggle Snoodle's thighs. They find this hilarious. Me, I find it slightly degrading but it makes them happy. Sometimes they like to pretend my thigh fat is jello but mostly they just like to jiggle it around.

One day Smiley insisted on being a cow for the entire afternoon and would only "moo" at people. That wasn't as bad as when you wanted to communicate to him because you had to "moo" back as well. Thank goodness he was over it by bedtime otherwise I don't know how I could have "mooed" through the bed time story.

There is always something said daily that will get me laughing, even if it is a little embarrassing on my part. Such as...

Smiley: "Pew wee! Your breath smells!"

Sissy: "Why are your front two teeth so much bigger than your other teeth?"

Smarty: "Did you know Dolphins are the only other mammals that mate for pleasure?"

Sissy:  "You put too much jelly on my PB&J again" *Pats my shoulder sympathetically* "It's okay, you'll get it down one day."

Smarty: "I bet I can make a better farting noise than you can"

Even if I feel insulted occasionally, I love how honest these kids are. In fact, because they are so honest it blows me away when they say things that are not even meant to be a compliment. Like the time Sissy said I looked like Belle from Beauty and the Beast. Or when Smarty thinks I make really cool noises. Or when Smiley says I'm the funniest girl he's ever met. And my heart just about melts when they rush to hug me when I first see them for the day.

With precious things such as these, they can play the Jiggle Game any day. 



Until next time,

Snoodle Doodle Jr.

Afraid To Be Loved

I don't exactly have the best luck with relationships.

Let me rephrase that.

Aside from my family, almost every relationship I've had (boyfriend, friend) has failed or ended in a painful way.

I do not mean to be a Negative Nancy today; I just feel the need to give you a basis on my current social life.

For starters, I am a pretty difficult person to handle. Sure I have a lot of friends and my teachers from school use to love me, and I get along fine with coworkers. I'm just able to make myself appear somewhat normal when I know it's appropriate.

Recently I have had issues with my housemates and this has put stress on me, causing built up anxiety. I made some mistakes with these girls and I'm trying to work on a few character flaws, but quite frankly, I constantly feel criticized and have this hunch that they no longer want to be the friends they once were with me. I've come to terms with that, but the lease to my house has not. I still have a few months living with girls that I feel do not like me.

I have had several close friends, many from back home, but after a few years together the sinful company of Jealousy would become a part of our circle, so there was always tension with my relationships. If I won an award, I never felt that a friend was happy for me. If I walked into a room and hear my name coming from a few girls that I hang out with, I would pretent not to have heard. Not to say I was never jealous or that I never spoke unkindly about others. It was just how my circle of friends worked, despite the fact that the relationships were unhealthy.

My ex-ex boyfriend is still my friend but he keeps trying to get back with me out of desperation. I found out that he has been using the same lines or "strategies" to get with my best friend from home. Not the biggest turn on. Regardless of the whole trying-to-get-with-two-girls-who-are-friends thing, he never truly knew me if that made sense. Yeah, we got along just fine and dated for about two years but there wasn't a time that I thought, "Man I really love this guy" it was more of a "I love you like I would love my hot cousin" type thing. Okay, maybe that was a bad/disturbing/incest example but you get what I mean.

Then there was Deedle. We began dating a few years ago and we fell in love. Our young ages made people skeptical at first when Deedle gave me a promise ring, but after a lot of time together even the most critical could see that we had something special. It all came to an end a little more than a year ago. Mistakes on my part were made, there was a lot of fighting, and we broke it off. I naively believed that we would end up back together and we would end up getting married, have a few kids, and live happily ever after.

Okay, I'm known to be a hopeless romantic from time to time. So sue me.

Turns out, Deedle found out some disturbing information about me after I had gone off to school. Like I implied before, I am no Saint and would never try to say otherwise. He decided to cease all comunication with me from then on out and he became extremely bitter. I had heard through the grape vine that he was not the same person he had been a few years ago. He was mean and nasty to people and would always speak unkindly about me.

I got into this habit of praying for him to be happy. My prayers were answered when Deedle got a new girlfriend. She is a cute girl that I use to play water polo with, but I personally was never a fan of her. But he seems happy enough and most of the time I really am happy about that.

Not to say I don't miss Deedle. I use to dream about him everynight, usually nightmares. Sometimes though, I would have dreams that he would fly out and surprise me and tell me he still loved me and wanted to be with me. I'd have this anxious feeling deep in my gut that I would never get over the guy.

Until I met Koto. We met at a hall meeting last year and we became friends. He had a girlfriend who he was extremely devoted to and I knew that he was off limits in the romantic way but we developed a good friendship. He is a brilliant guy with a unique quality to always feel the need to give. He isn't happy unless the people he cares about are happy. He immediately reminded me of my brother Big Doodle, who is extremely intelligent and genuine.  Unfortunately Koto abruptly stopped speaking to me after a few months of being friends. I assumed I made a mistake of some sort, but I later found out that his girlfriend (who attends school elsewhere) didn't want him speaking to me anymore.

In that upcoming November Koto's girlfriend broke up with him on his birthday and began dating someone else a day later. Koto was a heartbroken mess and came to someone he knew he could confide in. Yes, that would be yours truly.  We grew closer over the following months and he became my best friend. I never felt judged or uncomfortable. He would laugh at things that I said that others may find embarrassing ,and would give me advice when needed.

It was obvious that Koto had a crush on me (he would bring me presents and chocolate almost every time he saw me) and I cared for him too, but I always pushed the thoughts away and thought back on my relationship with Deedle. I didn't want to get into anything because I didn't want to hurt anyone- especially a guy who is so amazing.

I am not afraid to love. I am afraid to be loved.

The day I knew Koto loved me was when I became extremely sick. I was ill in almost every way possible (even the really embarrassing ways that nobody should know about) and it wasn't pretty.  He brought over meds, food, (the kinds that I could keep down), gatorade, you name it. He stayed by me until I would fall asleep and check up on me later.

This in truth scared the pants off of me. I did not feel I deserved such treatment, and I even told him so. Koto is stubborn as a mule though and wouldn't hear any of it. Needless to say, he kept on lovin' me.

There were a few instances when I really knew I loved Koto, but they were not as frightening to me as when he made it clear he loved me.

At first I use to tell him we would never become a couple. He would just smile or say ,"Really?" As if he secretly believed I was bluffing.

I'm not sure what is going to happen with us...I like him more everyday and I'm afraid he likes me more as well.

All I know is that I am afraid to be loved. I need to work on this or else I'm going to die an old maid.

And Heaven knows my forte does not lie in cleaning.

Until next time,

Snoodle Doodle Jr.

Snoodle Doodle Jr.'s Calorie Burner Tips

Most of us have a some sort of desire (some much smaller than others) to work out or stay fit. However, there are several reasons that overcome this desire and cause us not to exercise.  

1. We are too busy.
2. We are too tired.
3. We are too lazy.
4. We are indifferent.
5. We have some type of disability that hinders our ability.

Reasons 1 and 2 go hand in hand with one another. You go to work all day and come home to deal with the family or the kids and have no time or energy to take a jog around the block. If you are a student you find yourself torn between hitting the gym or studying for that final coming up (i.e. going to the party that night) You would obviously go "study".

Reason number 3, well....you are simply lazy. Trust me, I understand.

Reason 4 is for the people who do not care about losing weight, working out, or getting that nice physique. Some of these indifferent people are those lucky sons of guns who do not have to do diddley squat to stay thin. Others just don't let the media or the perspective of peers influence them. Reason 4 would be the life.

Reason 5 is a pain in the butt and slightly depressing when you think about it. There are people who would work out if they could but just don't have the ability. Mama Doodle for instance has a bad case of scoliosis  and can't even go shopping without having to stop for a break because her back hurts her so much.


So, with all those reasons being said, here are some easy exercises and tips to burn calories, get stronger, and/or entertain yourself in the laziest way possible.

1. Chew sugar free gum. Get that jaw a movin' and also get a yummy flavor. When I am working at a desk this keeps me from snacking on bad foods and is beneficial to my social life. Now I know when people avoid me, it can't be my bad breath!

2. Take the stairs. I know we have all heard it before, but it really does help. Take a peek and if nobody is around then try to jog up there to get the heart rate going. If people are nearby just quicken the pace and slap a really determined or worried look on to make it look like you are in a rush to go somewhere really important (not to the second floor to spy on the hot co-worker again).

3. Stretch. It's easy and it feels good. If you sit at a desk, lift your legs up straight to stretch those hamies. Do a fake yawn with a nice stretch of the arms.

4. Drink a lot of water. Not only is it important and good for you, but you get up and walk to the bathroom often. Every bit of moving helps!

5. Offer help. If you are eating lunch with some friends and someone says, "Drat, I forgot napkins." You can pitch in, "I'll get them!" and go sprint of to bring the napkins back. Not only are you helping a friend out but you are burning a few calories too.

6. Do simple workouts while watching TV. Hmm watching TV or go work out? Do both! During a commercial break do some crunches or easy ab workouts. Also* Do NOT eat while watching television.

7.  Butt squeezes. When you're working around the house or walking in the office, do some butt squeezes (have you seen scary movie?) This will help tone that booty.

8. Ride a bike. If you have back problems and it is hard for you to run or walk then try to ride a bike every once in a while. It will feel great to get some fresh air and get the blood flowing. 

Well that's all I got for now.Hopefully you find at least one of these tips helpful.

There's hope for everyone, even the lazy people like me....or that's what I tell myself.


Until next time,


Snoodle Doodle Jr.