Although I do not have kids of my own, I have always been surrounded by them. Whether it be family, coaching, giving swim lessons, babysitting or life guarding at a pool, little kids are everywhere.
One of the best -and usually funniest - things about little kids is that they are so brutally honest. They are like a drunk with no filter.
Recently I have had the opportunity to babysit for a wonderful family, the Nee Nees. There are three children, Sissy, Smarty, and Smiley. Sissy is the oldest, the only girl, and 10 years old. Smarty is a cutie with harry potter style glasses and even though he is only 8 years old, he easily knows more scientific facts than the average American. The youngest is Smiley, a three year old boy with a beautiful heart and a bound full of energy.
As you may well imagine, I have had the funniest experiences with these kids. My self-esteem on the other hand doesn't quite think they are as entertaining as I do.
Smarty likes to play Animal Charades where we pretend we are an animal and the other person has to guess what animal you are acting out. This may sound easy, but let me just say, it is now in my top ten list of most challenging things I've ever done. I went first and decided to be a cat. After literally one second Smarty guessed it and narrowed his eyes at me.
Smarty: "That was way too easy. What do you think I am? An imbecile?"
Me: "Now Smarty, that isn't a nice word let's not say that anymore." (Secretly I thought it wasn't easy- it could have been a tiger or a lion you know...)
It was Smarty's turn. He starts crawling around and cups his hands behind his ears. Lord have Mercy, what is that even supposed to mean?
Me: "Uhh a koala?"
Smarty: "No no, this animal is nocturnal." He is clearly frustrated.
My guessing and his annoyed responses go back and forth for several minutes and I finally give up.
Smarty: "It's a Fennec Fox!"
Me: "Ohhh that was going to be my next guess!"
In case you had the same reaction as I did when he told me the answer which was really, "What the hell is a Fennec Fox??" Have a look below.
We don't play Animal Charades very much anymore unless he gives me only the easy level ones and I give him the hard level ones. I have to look animals up on Google the day before to get some new ideas for him. Never thought I would do homework for babysitting.
One time I came to watch the kids I had a little make up on from the night before and my hair was down and still decently fixed. The children eyed me suspiciously when I walked into their kitchen that morning like I was a stranger.
Sissy: "Wow Snoodle, you actually look pretty when you have make up on!"
Gee thanks.
Smarty after a moment of speculation, didn't become interested once he realized it was only mascara that startled him instead of an alien coming into his house, and went back to inspecting his Cheerios.
Smiley: "You look weird."
Me: "Let's just watch Sponge Bob guys."
Another game that Smarty and Smiley like to play is the Jiggle Game. To play, one must jiggle Snoodle's thighs. They find this hilarious. Me, I find it slightly degrading but it makes them happy. Sometimes they like to pretend my thigh fat is jello but mostly they just like to jiggle it around.
One day Smiley insisted on being a cow for the entire afternoon and would only "moo" at people. That wasn't as bad as when you wanted to communicate to him because you had to "moo" back as well. Thank goodness he was over it by bedtime otherwise I don't know how I could have "mooed" through the bed time story.
There is always something said daily that will get me laughing, even if it is a little embarrassing on my part. Such as...
Smiley: "Pew wee! Your breath smells!"
Sissy: "Why are your front two teeth so much bigger than your other teeth?"
Smarty: "Did you know Dolphins are the only other mammals that mate for pleasure?"
Sissy: "You put too much jelly on my PB&J again" *Pats my shoulder sympathetically* "It's okay, you'll get it down one day."
Smarty: "I bet I can make a better farting noise than you can"
Even if I feel insulted occasionally, I love how honest these kids are. In fact, because they are so honest it blows me away when they say things that are not even meant to be a compliment. Like the time Sissy said I looked like Belle from Beauty and the Beast. Or when Smarty thinks I make really cool noises. Or when Smiley says I'm the funniest girl he's ever met. And my heart just about melts when they rush to hug me when I first see them for the day.
With precious things such as these, they can play the Jiggle Game any day.
Until next time,
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
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