As you may know, I babysit for the Nee Nees- three kids that can be a handful, but always an entertainment. There was an event held at the house with caterers, a large amount of important adults, and a nice sound system. The kids were even more energetic than usual because of all the excitement.
When they were eating dinner in the kitchen, I gave the three of them orange cream soda to keep them occupied while I went scavenging for anything they may eat from the large amounts of food in the other rooms. As I was piling on little pigs-in-a-blanket, and large amounts of cheese (there was no way the kids would eat any of the other foods) I got curious glances at the dressed up adults who were digging into the shrimp. Who was this random girl dressed like a sweaty hobo stacking her plate with a bunch of covered sausages and cheese cubes?
While eating, several of the guests came into the kitchen to get a good look at the house. The Nee Nees are blessed with a beautiful home and it is hard not to roam around and explore. The Nee Nee children, being the social squirts that they are, made sure to tell each and every person who came in that they were drinking orange cream soda, and insisted to demonstrate how loud they can burp from it. Most of the spectators laughed or said something lame like, "Wow, excuse you!" with a joking tone. There was one snooty woman in particular though, that after a unhelpful comment from her part, scowled at me before she left the room. I turn to Smarty and instead of getting mad or embarrassed, I kiss him right on the top of his head.
Me: "Great burp Smarty! I think that was your best one yet." He gives me a big open smile and I can see the orange fizz in his mouth.
Once it was time for bed the kids were going bonkers. Sissy was in the family room upstairs away from everyone trying to do her math homework while I was trying to get her little brothers tucked in for the night. Smiley rips off his diaper immediately and swings it in big circles before throwing it high into the air. Thank the Lord I have good reflexes and dodged that thing before it landed right in front of me.
Here was my situation. Smiley was running around their room without any clothes on and I noticed he grabbed a large beaded necklace that the family got in summer vacation over seas. He puts it on his neck and the necklace goes past his belly button. As he was racing in circles, I was trying to get Smarty's shirt off over his head so we can put his PJ's on.
Then, I heard the crowd of people downstairs much more clear than I had a moment ago. I had shut the door when the boys and I first came into their bedroom, and it was definitely not this loud sounding. I glanced over quickly to the boy's bedroom door and to my despair, see that the door is wide open and Smiley is no longer in the room.
This means that Smiley is butt naked somewhere in the large house and there are guests downstairs that can potentially see him. I will tolerate orange cream soda burps on occasion...but I will not tolerate naked three year olds posing for a Morocco necklace to a group of important adults.
I sprint out the room and ahead I see Smiley on the top of the ornate stairwell that leads down to the front door of the entire house. The guests by now had gathered in the foyer downstairs by this very door and the dining room nearby. Basically, if anyone does anything as to glance up, they will see Smiley, stark naked on the Stairwell. I cautiously move toward him as if he were a ticking time bomb.
Scene of the crime...
Me: "Smiley, please come over here. Let's go pick out a book to read."
It doesn't work though.Smiley just gives me a mischievous smile and looks down below at all the guests downstairs. By this time Smarty is right behind me on the floor laughing at how funny his brother looks, and this only encourages Smiley further ,who had unfortunately begun to dance. I saw him inching down the first step.
I knew there was no way I could get Smiley by persuasion before he would run down the stairs and greet the crowd. I had to act fast. I literally charged at Smiley, scooped him up, and ran back to the safety of his room. Smarty followed and closed the door like the smart little guy he is. Inside, we all tumbled to the floor-me mainly because I was out of breath- Smarty and Smiley were laughing hysterically.
I couldn't help it. I just laughed right along with them. The absurdity of the entire situation was so funny, and the fact that little naked baby caused all of this, made it that much more ridiculous to me.
After the boys were tucked in, read a story, and given their kisses goodnight, I spent a good deal of time with Sissy on her math homework. She was "slap happy" as we call it, so it was a tedious process for her to do all 24 of her problems, but she eventually got through it all.
Although it may seem ironic, the Nee Nee children help keep me sane. Even those nights that there is a nudist on the stairwell.
Until Next Time,
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
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