When I was a little girl, I was the type of kid that like to play outside all the time. Everyday I was out soaking up the Texas sun and playing with the neighborhood friends. Playing outdoors had its cost though. There were numerous times I would fall down or get hurt in some way, whether it be a small scratch or a bloody disaster.
Today, as odd as this may sound, I was inspecting one of my oldest and biggest scars on my right knee. I couldn't help but smile thinking of how I earned it. I was riding on my bike in Arkansas, going down a hill standing with one foot on the bike seat, the other high in the air as if I were an ice skater, while my hands were holding on to the handle bars. For a few moments I held a strong pose (and did not look as graceful as the ice skaters do mind you) but when I tried to come back down I was going too fast to hold my balance, and I fell onto the cement road. I was left with gashes, bruises, and scratches of all sorts, and the biggest mark made was on my right knee.
That tumble down the hill was years ago and the scar, which once was about the size of my knee, is smaller and has faded to where it is barely noticeable.
Lately I have been picking at old wounds. The problem is, the wounds are still fresh and haven't had time to heal like the scar on my knee has. They are not wounds that are barely detectable at first glance, but wounds that still have color to them. Injuries that I have experienced within a year.
Although I am dating and love my boyfriend Koto, I still have had trouble with my ex, Deedle. Whenever I am home, and I happen to run into him, we attempt to be civil. We say our pleasantries and move on. The problem is, my wound with Deedle is still young. No, it's not fresh and my love with Koto has been like ointment to my injury, but it still feels as if someone is attempting to reopen that wound which I have waited what has seemed so long to heal. It is not like I still love Deedle or that I want to be with him. I just feel that bitterness between us and it simply makes me sad.
Another wound that is fresh and will still continue to bleed occasionally is my dear friend Mr. Don, who is no longer here. I know this will simply take time, but every now and then something probes that wound and I feel like it will never stop bleeding.
The good news is, like the injury on my knee, these wounds will heal and become scars. Scars are a funny thing. At first you hate the wound, you are hurt and upset. Some take more time then others, but eventually we almost forget it's there. A scar starts to take place, and there are those moments where you stare for minutes, memorizing the shape while you think of how it all began. Then, some scars you barely notice, and if you do it's just a part of who you are. It will always be there and you learn to accept that.
Our wounds are how we learn, and reopening them is how we grow even if that's difficult. Our injuries and problems come with each passing year, and we use that experience to move forward into the new year.
Looking back on 2011, I experienced wounds that I can't help but flinching a little still when I think about them. But I will use all of the pain and hurt I had to prepare for the new year.
So, 2011 I believe a thanks is in order...you gave me some heartache and trouble, but you also gave me great blessings. I have fallen in love, gotten a better idea of what I want to do in life, gotten closer to my loved ones, and learned several lessons that I will keep with me always.You have prepared me for next year and the ones following.
Farewell 2011, I move forward and anticipate the arrival of 2012. One day you will be remembered as the year that left me with old wounds.
Until Next Time,
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
So Long Dear Friend
Mr. Don is officially out of this world. He died December 12th, and I fortunately was able to make it to his funeral. It was a beautiful service at the Veterans funeral home, but it was also the saddest thing I've ever been to. He would have loved it though.
At the end of the service several people I hadn't seen in a while came up to talk to me. We reminisced about Mr. Don and how great he was, and it made me realize how impacting of a person he was. To many, it may seem he was just your typical southern man that liked to hunt, fish, and drink beer. But he was such an amazing friend and all who knew him loved him.
His wife also spoke to me at the end of the service and asked if I come by her house before I go back to school to pick up a present I gave him when I was a little girl. It was a small sculpture of a mountain man, since that's what Mr. Don always thought he was. He said he was born a hundred years too late. She told me he wanted me to have it. His granddaughter who I use to play with all the time, gave me a yellow rose that was placed on the casket, and we exchanged a hug and a look but no words were spoken.
The only person who I didn't know that spoke to me after the funeral was the funeral director. She told me that Mr. Don and his wife spoke highly of me and I was brought up several times. She also said Mr. Don viewed me as a daughter.
His funeral, the people and their words, and that yellow rose all about broke my heart. There are random moments where I just start to tear up, even at the most unusual times. I know he wouldn't want me to be sad, and he'd want me to go on and live up my Christmas holidays but it is so difficult. I just miss my friend.
Life will continue on though, and the best I can do is make him proud. I think of him in heaven, happy and singing with his friendly southern drawl making all sorts of friends there. And even though there is no beer in heaven, I'll pretend he's sitting back with a can in his hand and smiling down on me.
So long Mr. Don, I love you and will always miss you.
Until Next Time,
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
At the end of the service several people I hadn't seen in a while came up to talk to me. We reminisced about Mr. Don and how great he was, and it made me realize how impacting of a person he was. To many, it may seem he was just your typical southern man that liked to hunt, fish, and drink beer. But he was such an amazing friend and all who knew him loved him.
His wife also spoke to me at the end of the service and asked if I come by her house before I go back to school to pick up a present I gave him when I was a little girl. It was a small sculpture of a mountain man, since that's what Mr. Don always thought he was. He said he was born a hundred years too late. She told me he wanted me to have it. His granddaughter who I use to play with all the time, gave me a yellow rose that was placed on the casket, and we exchanged a hug and a look but no words were spoken.
The only person who I didn't know that spoke to me after the funeral was the funeral director. She told me that Mr. Don and his wife spoke highly of me and I was brought up several times. She also said Mr. Don viewed me as a daughter.
His funeral, the people and their words, and that yellow rose all about broke my heart. There are random moments where I just start to tear up, even at the most unusual times. I know he wouldn't want me to be sad, and he'd want me to go on and live up my Christmas holidays but it is so difficult. I just miss my friend.
Life will continue on though, and the best I can do is make him proud. I think of him in heaven, happy and singing with his friendly southern drawl making all sorts of friends there. And even though there is no beer in heaven, I'll pretend he's sitting back with a can in his hand and smiling down on me.
So long Mr. Don, I love you and will always miss you.
Until Next Time,
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
Friday, December 2, 2011
The Good Books
One of the best things ever, is when the book that you are currently reading is so good that you don't want to do anything else but read it. You read it at work, you read it during class, you take it to you wherever you go even though you know you won't be able to read any of it. That book that you stay up reading at night when you had a long day and you're exhausted, have another early morning and long day ahead of you, but you still continue to stay up in the dim light and read.
I haven't had one of those books in a while I feel. Maybe it's because I don't read as often as I use to, and I don't have as much opportunity to get many of those good books. Even still, I haven't read a good solid book in a while. It has left me feeling grumpy,antsy, and I can't wait to get my hands on one.
I'm missing the good books. Fingers crossed, I'll get a hold of one soon.
Until Next Time,
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
I haven't had one of those books in a while I feel. Maybe it's because I don't read as often as I use to, and I don't have as much opportunity to get many of those good books. Even still, I haven't read a good solid book in a while. It has left me feeling grumpy,antsy, and I can't wait to get my hands on one.
I'm missing the good books. Fingers crossed, I'll get a hold of one soon.
Until Next Time,
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Our Things
Every person has their own "thing" or two that, without it, they have trouble functioning.
Take Big Doodle for example. If he does not write, he literally gets stressed out. Grouchy, antsy, nervous even. His "thing" that he can't do without is writing.(No exaggeration)
Mama Doodle's "thing" is reading. Without a good ol' book to read before bedtime, Mama Doodle probably could not fall asleep (No exaggeration)
Little Doodle's "thing" that she can't do without is a literal item. Her cell phone. She not only would cry without her little baby, but crawl to her room and cry herself to sleep. (Maybe a little exaggeration)
Snoodle Doodle Jr. has a few "things" I suppose, but the main one is working out. If I do not work out I get anxious, cranky, moody, annoyed, you name it. I have certainly gotten better over the years I will say, mainly because I don't have as much time to work out, and my body has adjusted to it. A few years ago, I would toss and turn at night when I did not get exercise. I was in a sport all my life, and in high school my main sports were waterpolo and swimming. With sports, working out was obviously part of the job, so I would kill two birds in one stone during practice- I would get my work out in so I could ease my nerves, and I would get better at my sport. Now that I'm in college I still play a sport, but in the off season we are not allowed as many hours as we were in high school. This means every other type of exercise we wish to do, we must do on our own.(No exaggeration)
This past Thanksgiving break, although amazing in so many ways, I did not do a lick of exercise. I went five days without working out in any sort of way or form. Now, I may sound whiny and all, but this has left me with so much anxiety and jitters that is hard to explain. Thinking back on it, it was my own fault and I should have gotten off my lazy butt and done something productive.
Then again, I think sometimes we do need a break from our little "things" that we rely on so much. Yes, it is good to work out,read, or write. But it is also good to sit back and focus on other perspectives in life. Like a family who I don't get to see but every six months, and loves me so much. Or my boyfriend who was accepted and well liked by my parents who can be hard to please.
And it is nice, sometimes, and only sometimes, to not work out and instead relax. To not move for a moment and just think of all the good in life. No exaggeration.
Until Next Time,
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
Take Big Doodle for example. If he does not write, he literally gets stressed out. Grouchy, antsy, nervous even. His "thing" that he can't do without is writing.(No exaggeration)
Mama Doodle's "thing" is reading. Without a good ol' book to read before bedtime, Mama Doodle probably could not fall asleep (No exaggeration)
Little Doodle's "thing" that she can't do without is a literal item. Her cell phone. She not only would cry without her little baby, but crawl to her room and cry herself to sleep. (Maybe a little exaggeration)
Snoodle Doodle Jr. has a few "things" I suppose, but the main one is working out. If I do not work out I get anxious, cranky, moody, annoyed, you name it. I have certainly gotten better over the years I will say, mainly because I don't have as much time to work out, and my body has adjusted to it. A few years ago, I would toss and turn at night when I did not get exercise. I was in a sport all my life, and in high school my main sports were waterpolo and swimming. With sports, working out was obviously part of the job, so I would kill two birds in one stone during practice- I would get my work out in so I could ease my nerves, and I would get better at my sport. Now that I'm in college I still play a sport, but in the off season we are not allowed as many hours as we were in high school. This means every other type of exercise we wish to do, we must do on our own.(No exaggeration)
This past Thanksgiving break, although amazing in so many ways, I did not do a lick of exercise. I went five days without working out in any sort of way or form. Now, I may sound whiny and all, but this has left me with so much anxiety and jitters that is hard to explain. Thinking back on it, it was my own fault and I should have gotten off my lazy butt and done something productive.
Then again, I think sometimes we do need a break from our little "things" that we rely on so much. Yes, it is good to work out,read, or write. But it is also good to sit back and focus on other perspectives in life. Like a family who I don't get to see but every six months, and loves me so much. Or my boyfriend who was accepted and well liked by my parents who can be hard to please.
And it is nice, sometimes, and only sometimes, to not work out and instead relax. To not move for a moment and just think of all the good in life. No exaggeration.
Until Next Time,
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
November The Weird With Many Beards
The month of November is a strange one. It could just be from my perspective, but it's pretty darn weird.
Personally, this will be a month of much writing. The NanoWrimo began November 1st. It is an organization where an individual will write a novel of atleast 50,000 words in 30 days and 30 nights. This will be my first time trying to win. To win, one must just complete the thing, there isn't an actual prize of the best books picked out or anything. So far I haven't been doing so hot. I've got a little less than 4,000 words and I should be going at a pace of 1,667 a day. But maybe I will have a comeback.
I also just so happen to have two major research papers due this month, as well as other smaller papers for classes, and an occasional article I will write for my school newspaper. Like I said, just a lot of writing this month for me. I do not mean this to complain, more like a venting sort of thing.
The other strange thing about the start of November is "No shave November" which is where men will let their beards grow out for the whole month with a shaggy, manly look for men's cancer awareness. Already I can begin to see who will be participating in this event.
November also holds the day of my birth. Here's the thing about my birthday though...generally people will be slightly excited for their birthdays. Me on the other hand, I get anxious and dread the day. Weird, random, usually not-so-great stuff happens on my birthday. Like I said, weird November.
Koto's birthday is in November too, but this I am actually looking forward to. I have some pretty big plans for him, and fingers crossed, they will all work out smoothly and he will be happy.
I will be going home to visit my family in the south for Thanksgiving at the end of the month. This is a little different too, seeing as last year I didn't get to go down. But that's not the only difference...Koto will be coming with me. Yep...Koto is going to meet the Doodle family. I'm not sure why I thought it was such a great idea but I guess its better sooner than later? He's going to have to see how crazy they all are at some point. Luckily he's a good spirit and will excuse their odd ways.
November is just weird to me. And full of beards.
Until Next Time,
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
Personally, this will be a month of much writing. The NanoWrimo began November 1st. It is an organization where an individual will write a novel of atleast 50,000 words in 30 days and 30 nights. This will be my first time trying to win. To win, one must just complete the thing, there isn't an actual prize of the best books picked out or anything. So far I haven't been doing so hot. I've got a little less than 4,000 words and I should be going at a pace of 1,667 a day. But maybe I will have a comeback.
I also just so happen to have two major research papers due this month, as well as other smaller papers for classes, and an occasional article I will write for my school newspaper. Like I said, just a lot of writing this month for me. I do not mean this to complain, more like a venting sort of thing.
The other strange thing about the start of November is "No shave November" which is where men will let their beards grow out for the whole month with a shaggy, manly look for men's cancer awareness. Already I can begin to see who will be participating in this event.
November also holds the day of my birth. Here's the thing about my birthday though...generally people will be slightly excited for their birthdays. Me on the other hand, I get anxious and dread the day. Weird, random, usually not-so-great stuff happens on my birthday. Like I said, weird November.
Koto's birthday is in November too, but this I am actually looking forward to. I have some pretty big plans for him, and fingers crossed, they will all work out smoothly and he will be happy.
I will be going home to visit my family in the south for Thanksgiving at the end of the month. This is a little different too, seeing as last year I didn't get to go down. But that's not the only difference...Koto will be coming with me. Yep...Koto is going to meet the Doodle family. I'm not sure why I thought it was such a great idea but I guess its better sooner than later? He's going to have to see how crazy they all are at some point. Luckily he's a good spirit and will excuse their odd ways.
November is just weird to me. And full of beards.
Until Next Time,
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Happy Halloween!
It was quite the Halloween weekend. On Friday night I was Robin....
On Saturday night Koto and I were Tyler Durden and Marla Singer from the movie "Fight Club"
Then on Sunday night-last night-one of my housemates, Eureka, was Fred Flintstone and I was Pebbles.
I kind of went all out. I can't decide if I should be proud or embarrassed.
Hope everyone has a safe Halloween!
Until Next Time,
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
On Saturday night Koto and I were Tyler Durden and Marla Singer from the movie "Fight Club"
Then on Sunday night-last night-one of my housemates, Eureka, was Fred Flintstone and I was Pebbles.
I kind of went all out. I can't decide if I should be proud or embarrassed.
Hope everyone has a safe Halloween!
Until Next Time,
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Confession Booth
It is time for me to confess a few things.
1. I confess that I want to be a writer. I don't know what kind exactly, but it would be so amazing to be a TV writer or just to write a novel. The catch? I don't want to write crap. Even if I had a great opportunity, I don't think I'd go through with it if my work was trash. I'd much rather have some dignity and respect.
2. I confess that my own governor pisses me off. Don't get me wrong, I agree with a lot of his views. I really do. BUT....he embarrasses me. He honestly truly embarrasses me. In philosophy class my professor- who is a complete socialist- always makes fun of Perry, and will always ask my input. I try to defend my governor on some levels, but it is becoming pretty difficult. I really think the man means well, he just becomes too extreme and scares people away with how he expresses his views.
3. I confess that every time a person doesn't hold the door open for me- when they clearly are supposed to-I think less of them. Maybe they were in a rush? Maybe they didn't see me? No. I don't even give them an excuse, I just get annoyed. Call this judgmental, because that's what I'm going to call it, I can't help it. These people always make me cringe.
4. I confess that I had a crush on Shia LaBeof....when he was on the Disney Channel playing in Even Stevens. All my friends made fun of me, but I stood firm. He was my childhood crush which I am not ashamed of. Well, okay maybe I could have chosen someone a little more "hunky" if you will, but I can't change who I thought was cute when I was eleven years old. So Shia it is.
5. I confess that when I'm in a car going by a cemetery, and people hold their breath, I only pretend to hold my breath. I don't actually participate.
6. I confess that I think too much about the past. It's definitely an issue and something I gotta work on. I dwell on my past mistakes more than I focus on my future.
7. I confess that when I began writing this post, the thought that it may be slightly sac religious went through my head, but I went on writin' it.
Maybe I will actually go to a confession booth soon.
Alright, alright...I confess that I'm not Catholic.
This confession will just have to suffice.
Until Next Time,
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
1. I confess that I want to be a writer. I don't know what kind exactly, but it would be so amazing to be a TV writer or just to write a novel. The catch? I don't want to write crap. Even if I had a great opportunity, I don't think I'd go through with it if my work was trash. I'd much rather have some dignity and respect.
2. I confess that my own governor pisses me off. Don't get me wrong, I agree with a lot of his views. I really do. BUT....he embarrasses me. He honestly truly embarrasses me. In philosophy class my professor- who is a complete socialist- always makes fun of Perry, and will always ask my input. I try to defend my governor on some levels, but it is becoming pretty difficult. I really think the man means well, he just becomes too extreme and scares people away with how he expresses his views.
3. I confess that every time a person doesn't hold the door open for me- when they clearly are supposed to-I think less of them. Maybe they were in a rush? Maybe they didn't see me? No. I don't even give them an excuse, I just get annoyed. Call this judgmental, because that's what I'm going to call it, I can't help it. These people always make me cringe.
4. I confess that I had a crush on Shia LaBeof....when he was on the Disney Channel playing in Even Stevens. All my friends made fun of me, but I stood firm. He was my childhood crush which I am not ashamed of. Well, okay maybe I could have chosen someone a little more "hunky" if you will, but I can't change who I thought was cute when I was eleven years old. So Shia it is.
5. I confess that when I'm in a car going by a cemetery, and people hold their breath, I only pretend to hold my breath. I don't actually participate.
6. I confess that I think too much about the past. It's definitely an issue and something I gotta work on. I dwell on my past mistakes more than I focus on my future.
7. I confess that when I began writing this post, the thought that it may be slightly sac religious went through my head, but I went on writin' it.
Maybe I will actually go to a confession booth soon.
Alright, alright...I confess that I'm not Catholic.
This confession will just have to suffice.
Until Next Time,
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
A Day in a Life of Big Doodle
Big Doodle has a basic schedule.
He wakes up, paces, eats, paces, pets the dogs, paces, reads, paces, writes, paces, thinks, paces, and repeat.
There are only a small few times that this routine will be interrupted. When Papa Doodle or another family member will intertwine their plans with Big Doodle. For example, when Mama Doodle wants to go grocery shopping and needs someone to lift the dog food into the basket, Big Doodle will come along, and he will be happy to be of help.
Another time is when Big Doodle has a medical appointment of some kind.
The last way is the most interesting. It is when those really random and unpredictable events occur.
Last Wednesday is a perfect example.
Big Doodle was supposed to turn in a volunteer form to a rehabilitation center around the corner from our home down south. I had called him around noon to make sure he was going to turn it in, and give him a few words of encouragement. After a few minutes of walking him through what he should wear and how he should present himself, we hung up.
About an hour later I get a phone call from him, so I was expecting it to be about the volunteer situation.
Me: "Hello?"
Big Doodle: "I'm very concerned."
Me: "About what? Did you turn that form in? I swear if you didn't..."
Big Doodle: "No, no. I'm feeling anxious about something else. The cats were attacking a bird in the back yard."
This was not exactly uncommon seeing as we have about six cats in our household- yes, we are crazy- so I didn't see the problem.
Me: "Okay...so what happened to the bird?"
Big Doodle: "I saved it."
Me: "You what? What do you mean you saved it? It survived?"
Big Doodle: "Well, it's injured. I ran out and saved it."
Me: "Wait, wait, whatever you do, don't touch the bird!"
Big Doodle: "S#*t! Oh God! Am I going to die!?"
Me: "Calm down, everything is fine. Where is the bird now?"
Big Doodle: "It's in my hat...in my room"
I couldn't help but laugh. The situation was so typical for the Doodle family, and so ridiculous. After clear instructions to Big Doodle to take the bird in his hat to the garage- without touching the bird itself- to go and thoroughly wash his hands, arms, and face I told him to just sit tight until Mama Doodle came home.
It is so funny to picture my brother, so innocent and kind, running in our backyard, and charging at his own cats to save a bird that he's never seen before. His intentions are always so pure. I love Big Doodle so much, more than he even knows.
To some, it may seem like Big Doodle needs me. Yeah, maybe he needs me to direct him in a fashion sense, and to be his support, but I need him more than he needs me. Sometimes I feel like I'm that bird that's being attacked, and just torn apart by what the world throws at me. Then there's Big Doodle to my rescue, knowing he may get a scratch himself in the process, but saves me anyway.
That's what big brothers are for. For those who don't have one of your own, I hope you have some sort of substitute. Because honestly, having a loving older brother is one of the greatest blessings anyone can ever have.
Even if he does call you in panic randomly because there's a bird that pooped in his hat after he saved it.
Until next time,
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
He wakes up, paces, eats, paces, pets the dogs, paces, reads, paces, writes, paces, thinks, paces, and repeat.
There are only a small few times that this routine will be interrupted. When Papa Doodle or another family member will intertwine their plans with Big Doodle. For example, when Mama Doodle wants to go grocery shopping and needs someone to lift the dog food into the basket, Big Doodle will come along, and he will be happy to be of help.
Another time is when Big Doodle has a medical appointment of some kind.
The last way is the most interesting. It is when those really random and unpredictable events occur.
Last Wednesday is a perfect example.
Big Doodle was supposed to turn in a volunteer form to a rehabilitation center around the corner from our home down south. I had called him around noon to make sure he was going to turn it in, and give him a few words of encouragement. After a few minutes of walking him through what he should wear and how he should present himself, we hung up.
About an hour later I get a phone call from him, so I was expecting it to be about the volunteer situation.
Me: "Hello?"
Big Doodle: "I'm very concerned."
Me: "About what? Did you turn that form in? I swear if you didn't..."
Big Doodle: "No, no. I'm feeling anxious about something else. The cats were attacking a bird in the back yard."
This was not exactly uncommon seeing as we have about six cats in our household- yes, we are crazy- so I didn't see the problem.
Me: "Okay...so what happened to the bird?"
Big Doodle: "I saved it."
Me: "You what? What do you mean you saved it? It survived?"
Big Doodle: "Well, it's injured. I ran out and saved it."
Me: "Wait, wait, whatever you do, don't touch the bird!"
Big Doodle: "S#*t! Oh God! Am I going to die!?"
Me: "Calm down, everything is fine. Where is the bird now?"
Big Doodle: "It's in my hat...in my room"
I couldn't help but laugh. The situation was so typical for the Doodle family, and so ridiculous. After clear instructions to Big Doodle to take the bird in his hat to the garage- without touching the bird itself- to go and thoroughly wash his hands, arms, and face I told him to just sit tight until Mama Doodle came home.
It is so funny to picture my brother, so innocent and kind, running in our backyard, and charging at his own cats to save a bird that he's never seen before. His intentions are always so pure. I love Big Doodle so much, more than he even knows.
To some, it may seem like Big Doodle needs me. Yeah, maybe he needs me to direct him in a fashion sense, and to be his support, but I need him more than he needs me. Sometimes I feel like I'm that bird that's being attacked, and just torn apart by what the world throws at me. Then there's Big Doodle to my rescue, knowing he may get a scratch himself in the process, but saves me anyway.
That's what big brothers are for. For those who don't have one of your own, I hope you have some sort of substitute. Because honestly, having a loving older brother is one of the greatest blessings anyone can ever have.
Even if he does call you in panic randomly because there's a bird that pooped in his hat after he saved it.
Until next time,
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
Monday, October 10, 2011
New Discoveries
Today is Columbus Day- the anniversary of the day Christopher Columbus discovered the Americas.
This weekend I did some searching and discovering of my own. I went with Koto to his home to visit his family. He grew up in a state cheering for the Redskins and the Capitals, meanwhile only miles away from where America's President sleeps.
The past few days may not have been as eventful as the days that Columbus was sailing the ocean blue, but it was enough to leave me feeling as tired as any sailor would.
There are three significant discoveries I made within the past few days.
1.) I really like hockey. Koto and his long time friend Peru bought the three of us Capitals tickets. This was essentially my first time to ever watch a hockey game, and between the fans and the watching the intense game unfold, I was hooked. The Capitals came out with a nice win (although a little shaky at first) and it was a nice way to top off my first official hockey game.
2.) Arguments are only worth it if they are productive. Yeah, maybe I already understood that this is how arguments should be, but the thing is, most of the time fights are usually not like that. Koto and I had a few arguments this weekend, and even though they weren't necessarily our first fights, there was something significant about them. I can be pretty feisty or aggressive when I argue, and I do this awful thing where I say anything I can just to make the other person feel bad about themselves. Just from the experiences with past relationships, I have gotten away with this, but all it took was for Koto to calmly tell me I was being mean. Something so simple, but so effective somehow. After that, we worked through our little pickle and I felt better than I had before.
3.) I'm smitten. Yeah, I have loved Koto for quite some time now, but after three days with him non-stop and no break, I'm not sick of him in the least. In fact, I miss and love him more. We drove a total of 612 miles this weekend and the entire time we talked, sat in comfortable silence, or just listened to the music playing. He is so brilliant, special, and kind, I am amazed how he is satisfied with me.
All in all, I discovered a new sport that I enjoy, I accepted a fault of mine and look forward to improving my arguing methods, and most importantly, I discovered that I am just as smitten with a guy who claims to be smitten with me.
As far as I'm concerned, Columbus can keep his credit on the Americas. Pshh, what Columbus, you think you are so important because you discovered land that years later became an amazing country, and eventually developed into a nation full of powerful and important people? Take it. I got something better. I found myself a keeper.
Until Next Time,
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
This weekend I did some searching and discovering of my own. I went with Koto to his home to visit his family. He grew up in a state cheering for the Redskins and the Capitals, meanwhile only miles away from where America's President sleeps.
The past few days may not have been as eventful as the days that Columbus was sailing the ocean blue, but it was enough to leave me feeling as tired as any sailor would.
There are three significant discoveries I made within the past few days.
1.) I really like hockey. Koto and his long time friend Peru bought the three of us Capitals tickets. This was essentially my first time to ever watch a hockey game, and between the fans and the watching the intense game unfold, I was hooked. The Capitals came out with a nice win (although a little shaky at first) and it was a nice way to top off my first official hockey game.
2.) Arguments are only worth it if they are productive. Yeah, maybe I already understood that this is how arguments should be, but the thing is, most of the time fights are usually not like that. Koto and I had a few arguments this weekend, and even though they weren't necessarily our first fights, there was something significant about them. I can be pretty feisty or aggressive when I argue, and I do this awful thing where I say anything I can just to make the other person feel bad about themselves. Just from the experiences with past relationships, I have gotten away with this, but all it took was for Koto to calmly tell me I was being mean. Something so simple, but so effective somehow. After that, we worked through our little pickle and I felt better than I had before.
3.) I'm smitten. Yeah, I have loved Koto for quite some time now, but after three days with him non-stop and no break, I'm not sick of him in the least. In fact, I miss and love him more. We drove a total of 612 miles this weekend and the entire time we talked, sat in comfortable silence, or just listened to the music playing. He is so brilliant, special, and kind, I am amazed how he is satisfied with me.
All in all, I discovered a new sport that I enjoy, I accepted a fault of mine and look forward to improving my arguing methods, and most importantly, I discovered that I am just as smitten with a guy who claims to be smitten with me.
As far as I'm concerned, Columbus can keep his credit on the Americas. Pshh, what Columbus, you think you are so important because you discovered land that years later became an amazing country, and eventually developed into a nation full of powerful and important people? Take it. I got something better. I found myself a keeper.
Until Next Time,
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Mr. Don
A few days ago I received some distressing news. Mr. Don, a good family friend from home has stage 4 colon cancer.
Mr. Don lived down the street from my family in our old neighborhood, before we moved a few miles away into a different home. I have knows him since I was seven or eight and his granddaughter and I use to play with each other every weekend that she came down to visit.
The three of us would go out to his parent's pier and fish every weekend, but sometimes it was just the two of us. We use to always ride our bikes around the neighborhood or to the park, and I have so many memories that I can still see today. I wrote him a poem that I am sending down south. It's pretty amateur and sounds kind of childish, but I just want him to know how much he means to me.
Mr. Don lived down the street from my family in our old neighborhood, before we moved a few miles away into a different home. I have knows him since I was seven or eight and his granddaughter and I use to play with each other every weekend that she came down to visit.
The three of us would go out to his parent's pier and fish every weekend, but sometimes it was just the two of us. We use to always ride our bikes around the neighborhood or to the park, and I have so many memories that I can still see today. I wrote him a poem that I am sending down south. It's pretty amateur and sounds kind of childish, but I just want him to know how much he means to me.
Teachin’ Baby Girl to Fish
Saturday night out on the pier
Me with my coke, you with your beer.
Here we go with our poles and our bait
“Cast the line out Baby Girl, then just sit back and wait.”
You catch a Flounder on your very first try
Not one bite for me- the fish swim on by.
We relax in silence and stare at the silver moon
“Night time fishin’s the best Baby Girl, don’t worry, you’ll catch one soon.”
A tug on my line makes me jump up and scream
I reel that thing in like it’s my biggest dream.
But the line becomes lighter; I hang my head in shame and dismay
“I’m sorry Baby Girl, it seems that one got away.”
There’s another tug on your line- this one seems big!
But my empty hook needs more bait, so I open the bag of shrimp and dig
I pick the best one I can find,
“I’ll put it on the hook Baby Girl, hold on if you don’t mind”
But, oh no, miss prissy me
I can do it myself, you just wait and see.
Your huge fish plops down on the deck, but you stop dead once you see all that red
“Dag nabbitt, Baby Girl did you hear a word that I said?!”
My thumb was bleeding, it got pierced by the hook
You rush to my side as the big fish is floppin’, and gah lee that deck sure shook
You wrap up my pain in an old dirty rag
“Sorry Baby Girl, it’s either this or that smelly shrimp bag.”
I feel better already with Mr. Don there
But then I’m scared once I see that fish flop right off that dang pier.
The guilt is overwhelming once I hear your big heavy sigh
“Shh it’s okay Baby Girl, no need to cry.”
Through my tears, I’m surprised to see you smile
A fish like that won’t come by for quite a while.
You kiss my forehead and pat down my hair
“Baby Girl, always remember that life just ain’t fair.”
You want me to try again, at least one more time
I pick out the shrimp, and you put it on my line
I bring the pole back, and then fling it forward, determined for a fish to be caught.
“There you go Baby Girl, that’s the perfect spot.”
We wait and wait- gee this sure is hard
I’m secretly jealous when you catch your third
I stare at the water, wishing for that bite
“Be patient Baby Girl, hand on tight.”
Then there it was! I pulled hard, but boy was it rough
Good thing this little girl was tough
I reel that sucker in with all that I have left.
“Great job Baby Girl, be sure to catch your breath!”
You unhook it and almost gut it, but I want to set it free
I don’t know why, but the fish reminds me of me.
It’s small and it’s feisty, with so much spirit
“Whatever you want Baby Girl, if you wish, we can spare it.”
Off it goes back into that bay
Maybe someone else will catch it one day.
The little girl was sleepy, it was getting pretty late
“Let’s head home Baby girl, besides, we done out of our bait.”
Dozin’ off in your truck not aware how much this memory will one day stick,
Many years later when you become so very sick.
When you dropped me off, I can hear the words to this day,
“Goodnight Baby Girl, I love you. Good job fishing today"
Dritin’ to sleep, I think of your soft kiss on my forehead.
Quite some years later, I promise to keep in touch as I head off to school
“It’s no big deal Baby Girl, you’ll be too busy, I’m not some fool.”
Please know that memories of us are so very vivid
You are the person who taught me to be strong, and to never be timid.
We may not fish together again like I so badly wish,
But I will sure always remember, who taught Baby Girl how to fish.
There are so many moments I will always keep close to heart. The time that I fell on my bike when riding by myself and Mr. Don was pulling on the street in his truck and came to my rescue. Or the time he got the splinter out of my foot and I wouldn't let anyone else touch it but him. And the time I wanted to run away from home, and when I was walking past his house in my ratty pink nightgown with my small bag, he stopped me and convinced me to stay and chat for a bit before I decided to run off forever. We sat on the back of his pick up talking away and ,before I knew it, I chose to just go back home because I was hungry anyway.
The memories like those are the ones that just make me want to curl into a ball and try to relive them in my head. When he told me the news on the phone, and I told him I was coming home for Thanksgiving, my heart just about broke when he said, "Alright Baby Girl, I'll try to hang around until then."
Well Mr. Don, I pray to God that you do.
Until next time,
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
Monday, September 26, 2011
The Nudist on the Stairwell
Tonight was quite the night for the Nee Nees.
As you may know, I babysit for the Nee Nees- three kids that can be a handful, but always an entertainment. There was an event held at the house with caterers, a large amount of important adults, and a nice sound system. The kids were even more energetic than usual because of all the excitement.
When they were eating dinner in the kitchen, I gave the three of them orange cream soda to keep them occupied while I went scavenging for anything they may eat from the large amounts of food in the other rooms. As I was piling on little pigs-in-a-blanket, and large amounts of cheese (there was no way the kids would eat any of the other foods) I got curious glances at the dressed up adults who were digging into the shrimp. Who was this random girl dressed like a sweaty hobo stacking her plate with a bunch of covered sausages and cheese cubes?
While eating, several of the guests came into the kitchen to get a good look at the house. The Nee Nees are blessed with a beautiful home and it is hard not to roam around and explore. The Nee Nee children, being the social squirts that they are, made sure to tell each and every person who came in that they were drinking orange cream soda, and insisted to demonstrate how loud they can burp from it. Most of the spectators laughed or said something lame like, "Wow, excuse you!" with a joking tone. There was one snooty woman in particular though, that after a unhelpful comment from her part, scowled at me before she left the room. I turn to Smarty and instead of getting mad or embarrassed, I kiss him right on the top of his head.
Me: "Great burp Smarty! I think that was your best one yet." He gives me a big open smile and I can see the orange fizz in his mouth.
Once it was time for bed the kids were going bonkers. Sissy was in the family room upstairs away from everyone trying to do her math homework while I was trying to get her little brothers tucked in for the night. Smiley rips off his diaper immediately and swings it in big circles before throwing it high into the air. Thank the Lord I have good reflexes and dodged that thing before it landed right in front of me.
Here was my situation. Smiley was running around their room without any clothes on and I noticed he grabbed a large beaded necklace that the family got in summer vacation over seas. He puts it on his neck and the necklace goes past his belly button. As he was racing in circles, I was trying to get Smarty's shirt off over his head so we can put his PJ's on.
Then, I heard the crowd of people downstairs much more clear than I had a moment ago. I had shut the door when the boys and I first came into their bedroom, and it was definitely not this loud sounding. I glanced over quickly to the boy's bedroom door and to my despair, see that the door is wide open and Smiley is no longer in the room.
This means that Smiley is butt naked somewhere in the large house and there are guests downstairs that can potentially see him. I will tolerate orange cream soda burps on occasion...but I will not tolerate naked three year olds posing for a Morocco necklace to a group of important adults.
I sprint out the room and ahead I see Smiley on the top of the ornate stairwell that leads down to the front door of the entire house. The guests by now had gathered in the foyer downstairs by this very door and the dining room nearby. Basically, if anyone does anything as to glance up, they will see Smiley, stark naked on the Stairwell. I cautiously move toward him as if he were a ticking time bomb.
Scene of the crime...
Me: "Smiley, please come over here. Let's go pick out a book to read."
It doesn't work though.Smiley just gives me a mischievous smile and looks down below at all the guests downstairs. By this time Smarty is right behind me on the floor laughing at how funny his brother looks, and this only encourages Smiley further ,who had unfortunately begun to dance. I saw him inching down the first step.
I knew there was no way I could get Smiley by persuasion before he would run down the stairs and greet the crowd. I had to act fast. I literally charged at Smiley, scooped him up, and ran back to the safety of his room. Smarty followed and closed the door like the smart little guy he is. Inside, we all tumbled to the floor-me mainly because I was out of breath- Smarty and Smiley were laughing hysterically.
I couldn't help it. I just laughed right along with them. The absurdity of the entire situation was so funny, and the fact that little naked baby caused all of this, made it that much more ridiculous to me.
After the boys were tucked in, read a story, and given their kisses goodnight, I spent a good deal of time with Sissy on her math homework. She was "slap happy" as we call it, so it was a tedious process for her to do all 24 of her problems, but she eventually got through it all.
Although it may seem ironic, the Nee Nee children help keep me sane. Even those nights that there is a nudist on the stairwell.
Until Next Time,
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
As you may know, I babysit for the Nee Nees- three kids that can be a handful, but always an entertainment. There was an event held at the house with caterers, a large amount of important adults, and a nice sound system. The kids were even more energetic than usual because of all the excitement.
When they were eating dinner in the kitchen, I gave the three of them orange cream soda to keep them occupied while I went scavenging for anything they may eat from the large amounts of food in the other rooms. As I was piling on little pigs-in-a-blanket, and large amounts of cheese (there was no way the kids would eat any of the other foods) I got curious glances at the dressed up adults who were digging into the shrimp. Who was this random girl dressed like a sweaty hobo stacking her plate with a bunch of covered sausages and cheese cubes?
While eating, several of the guests came into the kitchen to get a good look at the house. The Nee Nees are blessed with a beautiful home and it is hard not to roam around and explore. The Nee Nee children, being the social squirts that they are, made sure to tell each and every person who came in that they were drinking orange cream soda, and insisted to demonstrate how loud they can burp from it. Most of the spectators laughed or said something lame like, "Wow, excuse you!" with a joking tone. There was one snooty woman in particular though, that after a unhelpful comment from her part, scowled at me before she left the room. I turn to Smarty and instead of getting mad or embarrassed, I kiss him right on the top of his head.
Me: "Great burp Smarty! I think that was your best one yet." He gives me a big open smile and I can see the orange fizz in his mouth.
Once it was time for bed the kids were going bonkers. Sissy was in the family room upstairs away from everyone trying to do her math homework while I was trying to get her little brothers tucked in for the night. Smiley rips off his diaper immediately and swings it in big circles before throwing it high into the air. Thank the Lord I have good reflexes and dodged that thing before it landed right in front of me.
Here was my situation. Smiley was running around their room without any clothes on and I noticed he grabbed a large beaded necklace that the family got in summer vacation over seas. He puts it on his neck and the necklace goes past his belly button. As he was racing in circles, I was trying to get Smarty's shirt off over his head so we can put his PJ's on.
Then, I heard the crowd of people downstairs much more clear than I had a moment ago. I had shut the door when the boys and I first came into their bedroom, and it was definitely not this loud sounding. I glanced over quickly to the boy's bedroom door and to my despair, see that the door is wide open and Smiley is no longer in the room.
This means that Smiley is butt naked somewhere in the large house and there are guests downstairs that can potentially see him. I will tolerate orange cream soda burps on occasion...but I will not tolerate naked three year olds posing for a Morocco necklace to a group of important adults.
I sprint out the room and ahead I see Smiley on the top of the ornate stairwell that leads down to the front door of the entire house. The guests by now had gathered in the foyer downstairs by this very door and the dining room nearby. Basically, if anyone does anything as to glance up, they will see Smiley, stark naked on the Stairwell. I cautiously move toward him as if he were a ticking time bomb.
Scene of the crime...
Me: "Smiley, please come over here. Let's go pick out a book to read."
It doesn't work though.Smiley just gives me a mischievous smile and looks down below at all the guests downstairs. By this time Smarty is right behind me on the floor laughing at how funny his brother looks, and this only encourages Smiley further ,who had unfortunately begun to dance. I saw him inching down the first step.
I knew there was no way I could get Smiley by persuasion before he would run down the stairs and greet the crowd. I had to act fast. I literally charged at Smiley, scooped him up, and ran back to the safety of his room. Smarty followed and closed the door like the smart little guy he is. Inside, we all tumbled to the floor-me mainly because I was out of breath- Smarty and Smiley were laughing hysterically.
I couldn't help it. I just laughed right along with them. The absurdity of the entire situation was so funny, and the fact that little naked baby caused all of this, made it that much more ridiculous to me.
After the boys were tucked in, read a story, and given their kisses goodnight, I spent a good deal of time with Sissy on her math homework. She was "slap happy" as we call it, so it was a tedious process for her to do all 24 of her problems, but she eventually got through it all.
Although it may seem ironic, the Nee Nee children help keep me sane. Even those nights that there is a nudist on the stairwell.
Until Next Time,
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
The Big Ol' Heart of Football
I grew up in a state where football is up on the scale next to God and the Republican Party. Papa Doodle was a high school football and baseball coach when I was a little girl, so I have vivid memories of being dragged to a practice or games occasionally.Up until the age of about 12 we only had one TV in the entire house, and it was just a well known fact in the Doodle household that Papa had the TV on Sundays, Monday Nights, and sometimes Thursdays.
You would think that being surrounded by football, I would love the sport and be knowledgeable in it.. The honest truth is that I'm really not at all. Now, I probably know more than the average American female, but coming from the state that I am, and the Papa who raised me, I don't know diddly squat. The thing is, those days when Papa Doodle had the TV I was bitter we had to listen to the obnoxious commentators and the roar of the fans, instead of my precious cartoons. Football was inevitably around me always. When we would visit Meme and Papaw Doodle, you can guarantee you'd hear a "How bout them Cowboys?" coming from one of my uncles. If anything, being surrounded so much by the sport made me want to avoid it all together.
Fortunately for my football IQ, it was almost a social expectation to attend the high school football games that were at my town's stadium- our prized possession. Through middle school and high school I would have been spotted on a Friday night among the crowd of the town, and I grew to enjoy the sport more during these times because I understood the game more and I was hanging out with all my friends. There even came a few instances where I would watch college games with Papa Doodle on our TV, and when I would make a comment or even mention a name, Papa Doodle unglued his eyes from the screen for a moment to give me a small surprised looked.
So these days I've had Koto on my hands, and he is on top of NFL, and apart of a fantasy football league with his friends like many other guys this time of year. One thing I like about Koto is he is the type of person that wants you to learn and know as much as possible. He doesn't even realize it but he loves to express his knowledge (and not in a boastful way whatsoever) just for the fact that everyone around him will know it as well. That being said, Koto has been giving me a crash course on the National Football League, and I am proud to say I am doing pretty well in it so far. I find myself looking forward to the outcome of games, or following the teams I like.
This upcoming weekend I'm excited for my Texans against the Saints, and I am interested to see how Romo plays against those Redskins. For the first time, I feel apart of this League and I can really appreciate all the work and energy that goes into it from all sides. From the players, to the coaches, the media, and the adoring fans, there is such love and devotion to this sport. I kind of wish that I came to this realization when I was living back home, where there is such support system for it.
There is something so beautiful about an enormous amount of people who have this devotion to a sport. And, yeah, they may not think it is as pretty as I do, but maybe deep down, all of the football lovers know how special this community really is.
Until Next Time,
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
You would think that being surrounded by football, I would love the sport and be knowledgeable in it.. The honest truth is that I'm really not at all. Now, I probably know more than the average American female, but coming from the state that I am, and the Papa who raised me, I don't know diddly squat. The thing is, those days when Papa Doodle had the TV I was bitter we had to listen to the obnoxious commentators and the roar of the fans, instead of my precious cartoons. Football was inevitably around me always. When we would visit Meme and Papaw Doodle, you can guarantee you'd hear a "How bout them Cowboys?" coming from one of my uncles. If anything, being surrounded so much by the sport made me want to avoid it all together.
Fortunately for my football IQ, it was almost a social expectation to attend the high school football games that were at my town's stadium- our prized possession. Through middle school and high school I would have been spotted on a Friday night among the crowd of the town, and I grew to enjoy the sport more during these times because I understood the game more and I was hanging out with all my friends. There even came a few instances where I would watch college games with Papa Doodle on our TV, and when I would make a comment or even mention a name, Papa Doodle unglued his eyes from the screen for a moment to give me a small surprised looked.
So these days I've had Koto on my hands, and he is on top of NFL, and apart of a fantasy football league with his friends like many other guys this time of year. One thing I like about Koto is he is the type of person that wants you to learn and know as much as possible. He doesn't even realize it but he loves to express his knowledge (and not in a boastful way whatsoever) just for the fact that everyone around him will know it as well. That being said, Koto has been giving me a crash course on the National Football League, and I am proud to say I am doing pretty well in it so far. I find myself looking forward to the outcome of games, or following the teams I like.
This upcoming weekend I'm excited for my Texans against the Saints, and I am interested to see how Romo plays against those Redskins. For the first time, I feel apart of this League and I can really appreciate all the work and energy that goes into it from all sides. From the players, to the coaches, the media, and the adoring fans, there is such love and devotion to this sport. I kind of wish that I came to this realization when I was living back home, where there is such support system for it.
There is something so beautiful about an enormous amount of people who have this devotion to a sport. And, yeah, they may not think it is as pretty as I do, but maybe deep down, all of the football lovers know how special this community really is.
Until Next Time,
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Movin' On
Sometimes I think we all need a little push to move on. At this very moment I don't feel any support in any way whatsoever. Don't you hate that when you don't need anyone or anything it's all there right in front of you, but when you need it most you feel completely alone. I write this as a symbol of my time of confusion and frustration, my will to move forward, and my hope that everything is just going to work out in the end.
I believe that we don't always have to explain everything. Things can actually be expressed with few words. So today, I just want all to know I'm only going to be stronger for moving on this way.
Just writing that down was the push I needed.
Until next time,
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
I believe that we don't always have to explain everything. Things can actually be expressed with few words. So today, I just want all to know I'm only going to be stronger for moving on this way.
Just writing that down was the push I needed.
Until next time,
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Give it up to God
Today my favorite watch broke.
Well, actually it's my only watch (was) and it isn't even that nice. I got it for $15 at Target one day last year and wear it all the time. (wore) I took it off when I went to go workout today and accidentally dropped it on the tile floor and it just broke. Just like that, my beautiful watch that I wore faithfully broke. I find myself glancing at my bare wrist and feel embarrassed for it because it is so naked now.
I was still bitter on my walk home from the gym when I thought about something Mama Doodle taught me. She said everything you have-it can be a physical item, a friendship, or a trait you have yourself- you "give it up" to God.
I learned this lesson one morning when I dropped Mama Doodle's favorite sugar bowl when I was trying to put sugar in my coffee. The small bowl matched perfectly with our grape themed kitchen and I knew how much she liked it. I was scared she would get on to me but I knew I had to be honest. So when she came into the kitchen a few minutes later I told her the truth.
Me: "Mama Doodle I accidentally broke your favorite sugar bowl! I'm so so so so sorry! I'll do the dishes for a week!"
To my surprise she just laughed.
Mama Doodle: "That's okay honey it's not a big deal."
But it was a big deal. She talked about that sugar bowl all the time and I remember how happy she was when she found it at Kholes one day.
Me: "Are you sure?"
Mama Doodle: "Yes, but if you want to do the dishes then by all means go right on ahead."
She then went on to explain that everything she gets, she gives it up to God. That way it's His and she doesn't have to worry about it anymore. She said that she doesn't want to be attached to materialistic things or be too worried about what she looks like all the time. So everything she once had now belongs to God. I thought this was pretty impressive because quite honestly I am very possessive of my food and books, and I have trouble imagining giving those up to anyone.
Mama Doodle: "What's something physical that you like about yourself?"
I hate questions like these even if it is only Mama Doodle.
Me: "I guess I like my hair." (at the time my hair was frizz free ringlet curly and not the uncontrolled mess that it is today)
Mama Doodle: "Well give it up to God then. That way if it gets taken away from you, you won't be as upset about it."
This was not only way over my head, but it almost brought me to tears thinking of someone cutting off my hair or something crazy like that.
Eventually I did grasp the concept of giving things up to God and it made me a happier and more care free person. Sometimes I forget to give things up to Him, and maybe that's why my watch broke today- to remind me to be less attached to materialistic items like a $15 watch and more focused on Him.
Or maybe it was just His way of saying it's time for a more sophisticated looking watch.
Until next time,
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
Well, actually it's my only watch (was) and it isn't even that nice. I got it for $15 at Target one day last year and wear it all the time. (wore) I took it off when I went to go workout today and accidentally dropped it on the tile floor and it just broke. Just like that, my beautiful watch that I wore faithfully broke. I find myself glancing at my bare wrist and feel embarrassed for it because it is so naked now.
I was still bitter on my walk home from the gym when I thought about something Mama Doodle taught me. She said everything you have-it can be a physical item, a friendship, or a trait you have yourself- you "give it up" to God.
I learned this lesson one morning when I dropped Mama Doodle's favorite sugar bowl when I was trying to put sugar in my coffee. The small bowl matched perfectly with our grape themed kitchen and I knew how much she liked it. I was scared she would get on to me but I knew I had to be honest. So when she came into the kitchen a few minutes later I told her the truth.
Me: "Mama Doodle I accidentally broke your favorite sugar bowl! I'm so so so so sorry! I'll do the dishes for a week!"
To my surprise she just laughed.
Mama Doodle: "That's okay honey it's not a big deal."
But it was a big deal. She talked about that sugar bowl all the time and I remember how happy she was when she found it at Kholes one day.
Me: "Are you sure?"
Mama Doodle: "Yes, but if you want to do the dishes then by all means go right on ahead."
She then went on to explain that everything she gets, she gives it up to God. That way it's His and she doesn't have to worry about it anymore. She said that she doesn't want to be attached to materialistic things or be too worried about what she looks like all the time. So everything she once had now belongs to God. I thought this was pretty impressive because quite honestly I am very possessive of my food and books, and I have trouble imagining giving those up to anyone.
Mama Doodle: "What's something physical that you like about yourself?"
I hate questions like these even if it is only Mama Doodle.
Me: "I guess I like my hair." (at the time my hair was frizz free ringlet curly and not the uncontrolled mess that it is today)
Mama Doodle: "Well give it up to God then. That way if it gets taken away from you, you won't be as upset about it."
This was not only way over my head, but it almost brought me to tears thinking of someone cutting off my hair or something crazy like that.
Eventually I did grasp the concept of giving things up to God and it made me a happier and more care free person. Sometimes I forget to give things up to Him, and maybe that's why my watch broke today- to remind me to be less attached to materialistic items like a $15 watch and more focused on Him.
Or maybe it was just His way of saying it's time for a more sophisticated looking watch.
Until next time,
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
Bestie
Bestie and I met in the fourth grade during swim practice. It was the local club swim team and Bestie had been on the team for a few years prior, so she was a good swimmer already. I wasn't quite on her caliber at the time so I was in a few lanes over. After a few weeks though I was forced to move into my own age group and that was when Bestie and I became lane buddies. Little did I know, we would be lane buddies for the next eight years.
That January she invited me to her birthday party, and we became inseparable from then on. Bestie and I truly compliment one another. With out the other we are not nearly as bold and daring. In high school we would always go on "adventures" at random times, whether it be leaving school during our lunch hour, skipping class, skipping practice, or just after school.
Exhibit A...
I will admit Bestie and I would sometimes be bad influences on one another. Bestie has a huge issue with authority, and has no shame in admitting it. She will make it very clear to any authority figure who she thinks is an idiot is, well,... an idiot.There was constant back talking with our swimming and/or waterpolo coaches through the years if she thought something was dumb or that she didn't want to do it. You'd think I would tell her something like "hey bestie, maybe we should be respectful to our elders." or some other cheesy heartfelt message that you would find on Full House. But no. Snoodle Doodle Jr. always encouraged her. In fact, I would get in trouble myself from time to time. We were a tag team- always egging the other to keep on fighting.
In our defense, we have encountered many crazy people. We had a high school coach who was an easy target to make fun of because he would make the most ridiculous comments or say extremely absurd things.
For instance, one day Bestie was late to morning practice so the entire boys and girls team had to go outside for a run and other workouts. One exercise we did was where you hold your feet six inches off the ground to work your abs. There were tons of mosquitoes out there that morning and we had them all over us, but we couldn't swat them away without Crazy Coach yelling at us.
Crazy Coach: "Awe what's the matter? Are those mosquitoes?"
(He was obviously being sarcastic and facetious and I wanted to round house kick him in the face)
Crazy Coach: "Well just don't breathe! They only want your blood!"
Don't breathe? What is that supposed to even mean? With a comment as weird as that one half the team dropped their legs and just started laughing. This of course made him even more upset but we didn't care. That small laugh was worth it.
Bestie and I are on opposite ends of the U.S. now going to school and playing waterpolo, and maybe Crazy Coach was a blessing in disguise. I have complete confidence that I will never encounter a coach that was as insane or made us do so many push-ups. Refer to story below...
One time Crazy Coach told Bestie, a few others, and I to do 25,000 push ups before...and I swear he was completely serious. We in turn were very serious indeed. Every time he came to check on us to make sure we were doing them we'd say some random number like, "18,674....18,675....18,676..." It was a complete joke to us.
Please do not think that Bestie and I did not work hard. Because we did. In fact by the time Bestie and I were senior captains our team had won state championships three years in a row. We just had an odd way of going about things sometimes.
Please also do not think that Bestie and I were always happy go lucky with one another. Boy, did we know how to push each others buttons.To be completely honest, I don't think after what we both have been through, most people would still be friends with one another.
But here we are now and my life wouldn't be the same without her.
Until next time,
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
That January she invited me to her birthday party, and we became inseparable from then on. Bestie and I truly compliment one another. With out the other we are not nearly as bold and daring. In high school we would always go on "adventures" at random times, whether it be leaving school during our lunch hour, skipping class, skipping practice, or just after school.
Exhibit A...
I will admit Bestie and I would sometimes be bad influences on one another. Bestie has a huge issue with authority, and has no shame in admitting it. She will make it very clear to any authority figure who she thinks is an idiot is, well,... an idiot.There was constant back talking with our swimming and/or waterpolo coaches through the years if she thought something was dumb or that she didn't want to do it. You'd think I would tell her something like "hey bestie, maybe we should be respectful to our elders." or some other cheesy heartfelt message that you would find on Full House. But no. Snoodle Doodle Jr. always encouraged her. In fact, I would get in trouble myself from time to time. We were a tag team- always egging the other to keep on fighting.
In our defense, we have encountered many crazy people. We had a high school coach who was an easy target to make fun of because he would make the most ridiculous comments or say extremely absurd things.
For instance, one day Bestie was late to morning practice so the entire boys and girls team had to go outside for a run and other workouts. One exercise we did was where you hold your feet six inches off the ground to work your abs. There were tons of mosquitoes out there that morning and we had them all over us, but we couldn't swat them away without Crazy Coach yelling at us.
Crazy Coach: "Awe what's the matter? Are those mosquitoes?"
(He was obviously being sarcastic and facetious and I wanted to round house kick him in the face)
Crazy Coach: "Well just don't breathe! They only want your blood!"
Don't breathe? What is that supposed to even mean? With a comment as weird as that one half the team dropped their legs and just started laughing. This of course made him even more upset but we didn't care. That small laugh was worth it.
Bestie and I are on opposite ends of the U.S. now going to school and playing waterpolo, and maybe Crazy Coach was a blessing in disguise. I have complete confidence that I will never encounter a coach that was as insane or made us do so many push-ups. Refer to story below...
One time Crazy Coach told Bestie, a few others, and I to do 25,000 push ups before...and I swear he was completely serious. We in turn were very serious indeed. Every time he came to check on us to make sure we were doing them we'd say some random number like, "18,674....18,675....18,676..." It was a complete joke to us.
Please do not think that Bestie and I did not work hard. Because we did. In fact by the time Bestie and I were senior captains our team had won state championships three years in a row. We just had an odd way of going about things sometimes.
Please also do not think that Bestie and I were always happy go lucky with one another. Boy, did we know how to push each others buttons.To be completely honest, I don't think after what we both have been through, most people would still be friends with one another.
But here we are now and my life wouldn't be the same without her.
Until next time,
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Remembering 9/11
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8oOW-1OwtCA&feature=related
On September 11, 2001 I was in my fourth grade P.E class when kids were beginning to be called to go home. One after another kids began to filter out, and by the time all our four square games were done almost ten kids had gone home. I vividly remember joking with my friends that there was a secret party going on that we weren't invited to.
As I found out a few hours later, there was no party. In fact, it was quite opposite. An awful series of events occurred leading to a heart wrenching disaster.
Until next time,
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
On September 11, 2001 I was in my fourth grade P.E class when kids were beginning to be called to go home. One after another kids began to filter out, and by the time all our four square games were done almost ten kids had gone home. I vividly remember joking with my friends that there was a secret party going on that we weren't invited to.
As I found out a few hours later, there was no party. In fact, it was quite opposite. An awful series of events occurred leading to a heart wrenching disaster.
Since this upcoming Sunday is the ten year anniversary of 9/11, there has probably been a lot of reminiscing going on. There is just so much to think about and remember. All the lives that were taken, and the effects of families and loved ones. We also think about our own personal memories of the time of the attacks. Then there are the thoughts that go into how something so tragic could happen to America and the situation she is in now after ten years.
The next week in class after the attacks, the whole fourth grade was given a pretty piece of paper that we were to record our personal stories and thoughts about 9/11. I remember the teachers took it very seriously and had us perfect the writing. We put all our stories into a time capsule that the teachers buried on the school grounds. I don’t remember when it is supposed to be opened but I do remember what I wrote. In my writing I gave some details of the kids leaving early, the teachers telling us the news, and my own parents who eventually sat with me that night to go into further explanation. Even though I was young when 9/11 happened, and I did not know much about terrorism and politics, I remember in my paper I wrote that America needs to come together as one country after this.
There will always be war, famine, and disaster in the world. The important thing is how countries overcome the chaos, and I believe that being united as a country will make things easier.
I don’t even know how to comprehend all that America has gone through the past ten years…but I do know that I take pride in my country and will always remember that day.
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
Friday, September 2, 2011
Irene Blows Over
Hurricane Irene, like any natural disaster, is an awful thing. Lives were lost, houses were damaged, and property was flooded.
The thing that gets me though, is when these hurricanes are given so much hype. I am currently in The Empire State and the media went nuts with the news of Irene. People were told to evacuate their homes and to prepare for the incoming hurricane. When a roommate of mine went to a nearby grocery store just to get some bread and a few other items, she said there were no more water bottles at the store because they were all sold out.
Anticipating Irene reminded me of my experiences with hurricanes down south. The Doodle family has evacuated a few times, Hurricane Katrina and Hurricane Rita being the two that stand out the most.
For Hurricane Rita in 2005, the media implied on more than one occasion that we would come back and not see our house. The Doodle family packed up in our old mini van with the dogs, cats, and our prized possessions. Mama and Papa Doodle didn't bring much while Big Doodle, Little Doodle, and I brought our books and video games.
Probably not the best experiences of my life let me just tell you. Luckily though, when we came back home, our house did not have much damage. The fence had blown over, a few shingles were missing, the electricity was out for a day or so, and there was debris scattered everywhere.
Why did the media put so much urgency into this hurricane? I do understand the issue of precaution. With natural disasters such as hurricanes you just never know what can happen so it is always better to be safe then sorry. I get that, I really do.
But my concern is that media and businesses take advantage of the anxious society. Grocery stores probably jumped for joy when rumors of Hurricane Irene were amidst. Gas stations were full of customers waiting to get their tanks filled. I remember the issue of price gauging with Hurricane Charlie in 2004. Even the media will try to get there fair share of updates on the Hurricanes whether it be actually useful to viewers or not. (Smart on their part) Just all of these possibilities in the financial standpoint can be frustrating.
This past weekend my roommates and I had a house party during Irene. It just felt like a windy rain storm honestly. The next morning this was the only damage.
The next day people were joking about how big of a deal they tried to make this and by the day after that, there was no talk at all.
I should be grateful that I am able to laugh about this because others had devastating experiences.
But then I think back on the Doodle Family stuffed in that ugly mini van back in 2005, with the smell of wet dogs and the Doodle kids constantly bickering about who saw the out of state license plate first...
I just can't help but to chuckle a bit.
Until next time,
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Children, Honesty, and the Jiggle Game
Children are the world's very own comedians. Parents are more aware of this than anybody.
Although I do not have kids of my own, I have always been surrounded by them. Whether it be family, coaching, giving swim lessons, babysitting or life guarding at a pool, little kids are everywhere.
One of the best -and usually funniest - things about little kids is that they are so brutally honest. They are like a drunk with no filter.
Recently I have had the opportunity to babysit for a wonderful family, the Nee Nees. There are three children, Sissy, Smarty, and Smiley. Sissy is the oldest, the only girl, and 10 years old. Smarty is a cutie with harry potter style glasses and even though he is only 8 years old, he easily knows more scientific facts than the average American. The youngest is Smiley, a three year old boy with a beautiful heart and a bound full of energy.
As you may well imagine, I have had the funniest experiences with these kids. My self-esteem on the other hand doesn't quite think they are as entertaining as I do.
Smarty likes to play Animal Charades where we pretend we are an animal and the other person has to guess what animal you are acting out. This may sound easy, but let me just say, it is now in my top ten list of most challenging things I've ever done. I went first and decided to be a cat. After literally one second Smarty guessed it and narrowed his eyes at me.
Smarty: "That was way too easy. What do you think I am? An imbecile?"
Me: "Now Smarty, that isn't a nice word let's not say that anymore." (Secretly I thought it wasn't easy- it could have been a tiger or a lion you know...)
It was Smarty's turn. He starts crawling around and cups his hands behind his ears. Lord have Mercy, what is that even supposed to mean?
Me: "Uhh a koala?"
Smarty: "No no, this animal is nocturnal." He is clearly frustrated.
My guessing and his annoyed responses go back and forth for several minutes and I finally give up.
Smarty: "It's a Fennec Fox!"
Me: "Ohhh that was going to be my next guess!"
In case you had the same reaction as I did when he told me the answer which was really, "What the hell is a Fennec Fox??" Have a look below.
We don't play Animal Charades very much anymore unless he gives me only the easy level ones and I give him the hard level ones. I have to look animals up on Google the day before to get some new ideas for him. Never thought I would do homework for babysitting.
One time I came to watch the kids I had a little make up on from the night before and my hair was down and still decently fixed. The children eyed me suspiciously when I walked into their kitchen that morning like I was a stranger.
Sissy: "Wow Snoodle, you actually look pretty when you have make up on!"
Gee thanks.
Smarty after a moment of speculation, didn't become interested once he realized it was only mascara that startled him instead of an alien coming into his house, and went back to inspecting his Cheerios.
Smiley: "You look weird."
Me: "Let's just watch Sponge Bob guys."
Another game that Smarty and Smiley like to play is the Jiggle Game. To play, one must jiggle Snoodle's thighs. They find this hilarious. Me, I find it slightly degrading but it makes them happy. Sometimes they like to pretend my thigh fat is jello but mostly they just like to jiggle it around.
One day Smiley insisted on being a cow for the entire afternoon and would only "moo" at people. That wasn't as bad as when you wanted to communicate to him because you had to "moo" back as well. Thank goodness he was over it by bedtime otherwise I don't know how I could have "mooed" through the bed time story.
There is always something said daily that will get me laughing, even if it is a little embarrassing on my part. Such as...
Smiley: "Pew wee! Your breath smells!"
Sissy: "Why are your front two teeth so much bigger than your other teeth?"
Smarty: "Did you know Dolphins are the only other mammals that mate for pleasure?"
Sissy: "You put too much jelly on my PB&J again" *Pats my shoulder sympathetically* "It's okay, you'll get it down one day."
Smarty: "I bet I can make a better farting noise than you can"
Even if I feel insulted occasionally, I love how honest these kids are. In fact, because they are so honest it blows me away when they say things that are not even meant to be a compliment. Like the time Sissy said I looked like Belle from Beauty and the Beast. Or when Smarty thinks I make really cool noises. Or when Smiley says I'm the funniest girl he's ever met. And my heart just about melts when they rush to hug me when I first see them for the day.
With precious things such as these, they can play the Jiggle Game any day.
Until next time,
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
Although I do not have kids of my own, I have always been surrounded by them. Whether it be family, coaching, giving swim lessons, babysitting or life guarding at a pool, little kids are everywhere.
One of the best -and usually funniest - things about little kids is that they are so brutally honest. They are like a drunk with no filter.
Recently I have had the opportunity to babysit for a wonderful family, the Nee Nees. There are three children, Sissy, Smarty, and Smiley. Sissy is the oldest, the only girl, and 10 years old. Smarty is a cutie with harry potter style glasses and even though he is only 8 years old, he easily knows more scientific facts than the average American. The youngest is Smiley, a three year old boy with a beautiful heart and a bound full of energy.
As you may well imagine, I have had the funniest experiences with these kids. My self-esteem on the other hand doesn't quite think they are as entertaining as I do.
Smarty likes to play Animal Charades where we pretend we are an animal and the other person has to guess what animal you are acting out. This may sound easy, but let me just say, it is now in my top ten list of most challenging things I've ever done. I went first and decided to be a cat. After literally one second Smarty guessed it and narrowed his eyes at me.
Smarty: "That was way too easy. What do you think I am? An imbecile?"
Me: "Now Smarty, that isn't a nice word let's not say that anymore." (Secretly I thought it wasn't easy- it could have been a tiger or a lion you know...)
It was Smarty's turn. He starts crawling around and cups his hands behind his ears. Lord have Mercy, what is that even supposed to mean?
Me: "Uhh a koala?"
Smarty: "No no, this animal is nocturnal." He is clearly frustrated.
My guessing and his annoyed responses go back and forth for several minutes and I finally give up.
Smarty: "It's a Fennec Fox!"
Me: "Ohhh that was going to be my next guess!"
In case you had the same reaction as I did when he told me the answer which was really, "What the hell is a Fennec Fox??" Have a look below.
We don't play Animal Charades very much anymore unless he gives me only the easy level ones and I give him the hard level ones. I have to look animals up on Google the day before to get some new ideas for him. Never thought I would do homework for babysitting.
One time I came to watch the kids I had a little make up on from the night before and my hair was down and still decently fixed. The children eyed me suspiciously when I walked into their kitchen that morning like I was a stranger.
Sissy: "Wow Snoodle, you actually look pretty when you have make up on!"
Gee thanks.
Smarty after a moment of speculation, didn't become interested once he realized it was only mascara that startled him instead of an alien coming into his house, and went back to inspecting his Cheerios.
Smiley: "You look weird."
Me: "Let's just watch Sponge Bob guys."
Another game that Smarty and Smiley like to play is the Jiggle Game. To play, one must jiggle Snoodle's thighs. They find this hilarious. Me, I find it slightly degrading but it makes them happy. Sometimes they like to pretend my thigh fat is jello but mostly they just like to jiggle it around.
One day Smiley insisted on being a cow for the entire afternoon and would only "moo" at people. That wasn't as bad as when you wanted to communicate to him because you had to "moo" back as well. Thank goodness he was over it by bedtime otherwise I don't know how I could have "mooed" through the bed time story.
There is always something said daily that will get me laughing, even if it is a little embarrassing on my part. Such as...
Smiley: "Pew wee! Your breath smells!"
Sissy: "Why are your front two teeth so much bigger than your other teeth?"
Smarty: "Did you know Dolphins are the only other mammals that mate for pleasure?"
Sissy: "You put too much jelly on my PB&J again" *Pats my shoulder sympathetically* "It's okay, you'll get it down one day."
Smarty: "I bet I can make a better farting noise than you can"
Even if I feel insulted occasionally, I love how honest these kids are. In fact, because they are so honest it blows me away when they say things that are not even meant to be a compliment. Like the time Sissy said I looked like Belle from Beauty and the Beast. Or when Smarty thinks I make really cool noises. Or when Smiley says I'm the funniest girl he's ever met. And my heart just about melts when they rush to hug me when I first see them for the day.
With precious things such as these, they can play the Jiggle Game any day.
Until next time,
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Afraid To Be Loved
I don't exactly have the best luck with relationships.
Let me rephrase that.
Aside from my family, almost every relationship I've had (boyfriend, friend) has failed or ended in a painful way.
I do not mean to be a Negative Nancy today; I just feel the need to give you a basis on my current social life.
For starters, I am a pretty difficult person to handle. Sure I have a lot of friends and my teachers from school use to love me, and I get along fine with coworkers. I'm just able to make myself appear somewhat normal when I know it's appropriate.
Recently I have had issues with my housemates and this has put stress on me, causing built up anxiety. I made some mistakes with these girls and I'm trying to work on a few character flaws, but quite frankly, I constantly feel criticized and have this hunch that they no longer want to be the friends they once were with me. I've come to terms with that, but the lease to my house has not. I still have a few months living with girls that I feel do not like me.
I have had several close friends, many from back home, but after a few years together the sinful company of Jealousy would become a part of our circle, so there was always tension with my relationships. If I won an award, I never felt that a friend was happy for me. If I walked into a room and hear my name coming from a few girls that I hang out with, I would pretent not to have heard. Not to say I was never jealous or that I never spoke unkindly about others. It was just how my circle of friends worked, despite the fact that the relationships were unhealthy.
My ex-ex boyfriend is still my friend but he keeps trying to get back with me out of desperation. I found out that he has been using the same lines or "strategies" to get with my best friend from home. Not the biggest turn on. Regardless of the whole trying-to-get-with-two-girls-who-are-friends thing, he never truly knew me if that made sense. Yeah, we got along just fine and dated for about two years but there wasn't a time that I thought, "Man I really love this guy" it was more of a "I love you like I would love my hot cousin" type thing. Okay, maybe that was a bad/disturbing/incest example but you get what I mean.
Then there was Deedle. We began dating a few years ago and we fell in love. Our young ages made people skeptical at first when Deedle gave me a promise ring, but after a lot of time together even the most critical could see that we had something special. It all came to an end a little more than a year ago. Mistakes on my part were made, there was a lot of fighting, and we broke it off. I naively believed that we would end up back together and we would end up getting married, have a few kids, and live happily ever after.
Okay, I'm known to be a hopeless romantic from time to time. So sue me.
Turns out, Deedle found out some disturbing information about me after I had gone off to school. Like I implied before, I am no Saint and would never try to say otherwise. He decided to cease all comunication with me from then on out and he became extremely bitter. I had heard through the grape vine that he was not the same person he had been a few years ago. He was mean and nasty to people and would always speak unkindly about me.
I got into this habit of praying for him to be happy. My prayers were answered when Deedle got a new girlfriend. She is a cute girl that I use to play water polo with, but I personally was never a fan of her. But he seems happy enough and most of the time I really am happy about that.
Not to say I don't miss Deedle. I use to dream about him everynight, usually nightmares. Sometimes though, I would have dreams that he would fly out and surprise me and tell me he still loved me and wanted to be with me. I'd have this anxious feeling deep in my gut that I would never get over the guy.
Until I met Koto. We met at a hall meeting last year and we became friends. He had a girlfriend who he was extremely devoted to and I knew that he was off limits in the romantic way but we developed a good friendship. He is a brilliant guy with a unique quality to always feel the need to give. He isn't happy unless the people he cares about are happy. He immediately reminded me of my brother Big Doodle, who is extremely intelligent and genuine. Unfortunately Koto abruptly stopped speaking to me after a few months of being friends. I assumed I made a mistake of some sort, but I later found out that his girlfriend (who attends school elsewhere) didn't want him speaking to me anymore.
In that upcoming November Koto's girlfriend broke up with him on his birthday and began dating someone else a day later. Koto was a heartbroken mess and came to someone he knew he could confide in. Yes, that would be yours truly. We grew closer over the following months and he became my best friend. I never felt judged or uncomfortable. He would laugh at things that I said that others may find embarrassing ,and would give me advice when needed.
It was obvious that Koto had a crush on me (he would bring me presents and chocolate almost every time he saw me) and I cared for him too, but I always pushed the thoughts away and thought back on my relationship with Deedle. I didn't want to get into anything because I didn't want to hurt anyone- especially a guy who is so amazing.
I am not afraid to love. I am afraid to be loved.
The day I knew Koto loved me was when I became extremely sick. I was ill in almost every way possible (even the really embarrassing ways that nobody should know about) and it wasn't pretty. He brought over meds, food, (the kinds that I could keep down), gatorade, you name it. He stayed by me until I would fall asleep and check up on me later.
This in truth scared the pants off of me. I did not feel I deserved such treatment, and I even told him so. Koto is stubborn as a mule though and wouldn't hear any of it. Needless to say, he kept on lovin' me.
There were a few instances when I really knew I loved Koto, but they were not as frightening to me as when he made it clear he loved me.
At first I use to tell him we would never become a couple. He would just smile or say ,"Really?" As if he secretly believed I was bluffing.
I'm not sure what is going to happen with us...I like him more everyday and I'm afraid he likes me more as well.
All I know is that I am afraid to be loved. I need to work on this or else I'm going to die an old maid.
And Heaven knows my forte does not lie in cleaning.
Until next time,
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
Let me rephrase that.
Aside from my family, almost every relationship I've had (boyfriend, friend) has failed or ended in a painful way.
I do not mean to be a Negative Nancy today; I just feel the need to give you a basis on my current social life.
For starters, I am a pretty difficult person to handle. Sure I have a lot of friends and my teachers from school use to love me, and I get along fine with coworkers. I'm just able to make myself appear somewhat normal when I know it's appropriate.
Recently I have had issues with my housemates and this has put stress on me, causing built up anxiety. I made some mistakes with these girls and I'm trying to work on a few character flaws, but quite frankly, I constantly feel criticized and have this hunch that they no longer want to be the friends they once were with me. I've come to terms with that, but the lease to my house has not. I still have a few months living with girls that I feel do not like me.
I have had several close friends, many from back home, but after a few years together the sinful company of Jealousy would become a part of our circle, so there was always tension with my relationships. If I won an award, I never felt that a friend was happy for me. If I walked into a room and hear my name coming from a few girls that I hang out with, I would pretent not to have heard. Not to say I was never jealous or that I never spoke unkindly about others. It was just how my circle of friends worked, despite the fact that the relationships were unhealthy.
My ex-ex boyfriend is still my friend but he keeps trying to get back with me out of desperation. I found out that he has been using the same lines or "strategies" to get with my best friend from home. Not the biggest turn on. Regardless of the whole trying-to-get-with-two-girls-who-are-friends thing, he never truly knew me if that made sense. Yeah, we got along just fine and dated for about two years but there wasn't a time that I thought, "Man I really love this guy" it was more of a "I love you like I would love my hot cousin" type thing. Okay, maybe that was a bad/disturbing/incest example but you get what I mean.
Then there was Deedle. We began dating a few years ago and we fell in love. Our young ages made people skeptical at first when Deedle gave me a promise ring, but after a lot of time together even the most critical could see that we had something special. It all came to an end a little more than a year ago. Mistakes on my part were made, there was a lot of fighting, and we broke it off. I naively believed that we would end up back together and we would end up getting married, have a few kids, and live happily ever after.
Okay, I'm known to be a hopeless romantic from time to time. So sue me.
Turns out, Deedle found out some disturbing information about me after I had gone off to school. Like I implied before, I am no Saint and would never try to say otherwise. He decided to cease all comunication with me from then on out and he became extremely bitter. I had heard through the grape vine that he was not the same person he had been a few years ago. He was mean and nasty to people and would always speak unkindly about me.
I got into this habit of praying for him to be happy. My prayers were answered when Deedle got a new girlfriend. She is a cute girl that I use to play water polo with, but I personally was never a fan of her. But he seems happy enough and most of the time I really am happy about that.
Not to say I don't miss Deedle. I use to dream about him everynight, usually nightmares. Sometimes though, I would have dreams that he would fly out and surprise me and tell me he still loved me and wanted to be with me. I'd have this anxious feeling deep in my gut that I would never get over the guy.
Until I met Koto. We met at a hall meeting last year and we became friends. He had a girlfriend who he was extremely devoted to and I knew that he was off limits in the romantic way but we developed a good friendship. He is a brilliant guy with a unique quality to always feel the need to give. He isn't happy unless the people he cares about are happy. He immediately reminded me of my brother Big Doodle, who is extremely intelligent and genuine. Unfortunately Koto abruptly stopped speaking to me after a few months of being friends. I assumed I made a mistake of some sort, but I later found out that his girlfriend (who attends school elsewhere) didn't want him speaking to me anymore.
In that upcoming November Koto's girlfriend broke up with him on his birthday and began dating someone else a day later. Koto was a heartbroken mess and came to someone he knew he could confide in. Yes, that would be yours truly. We grew closer over the following months and he became my best friend. I never felt judged or uncomfortable. He would laugh at things that I said that others may find embarrassing ,and would give me advice when needed.
It was obvious that Koto had a crush on me (he would bring me presents and chocolate almost every time he saw me) and I cared for him too, but I always pushed the thoughts away and thought back on my relationship with Deedle. I didn't want to get into anything because I didn't want to hurt anyone- especially a guy who is so amazing.
I am not afraid to love. I am afraid to be loved.
The day I knew Koto loved me was when I became extremely sick. I was ill in almost every way possible (even the really embarrassing ways that nobody should know about) and it wasn't pretty. He brought over meds, food, (the kinds that I could keep down), gatorade, you name it. He stayed by me until I would fall asleep and check up on me later.
This in truth scared the pants off of me. I did not feel I deserved such treatment, and I even told him so. Koto is stubborn as a mule though and wouldn't hear any of it. Needless to say, he kept on lovin' me.
There were a few instances when I really knew I loved Koto, but they were not as frightening to me as when he made it clear he loved me.
At first I use to tell him we would never become a couple. He would just smile or say ,"Really?" As if he secretly believed I was bluffing.
I'm not sure what is going to happen with us...I like him more everyday and I'm afraid he likes me more as well.
All I know is that I am afraid to be loved. I need to work on this or else I'm going to die an old maid.
And Heaven knows my forte does not lie in cleaning.
Until next time,
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Snoodle Doodle Jr.'s Calorie Burner Tips
Most of us have a some sort of desire (some much smaller than others) to work out or stay fit. However, there are several reasons that overcome this desire and cause us not to exercise.
1. We are too busy.
2. We are too tired.
3. We are too lazy.
4. We are indifferent.
5. We have some type of disability that hinders our ability.
Reasons 1 and 2 go hand in hand with one another. You go to work all day and come home to deal with the family or the kids and have no time or energy to take a jog around the block. If you are a student you find yourself torn between hitting the gym or studying for that final coming up (i.e. going to the party that night) You would obviously go "study".
Reason number 3, well....you are simply lazy. Trust me, I understand.
Reason 4 is for the people who do not care about losing weight, working out, or getting that nice physique. Some of these indifferent people are those lucky sons of guns who do not have to do diddley squat to stay thin. Others just don't let the media or the perspective of peers influence them. Reason 4 would be the life.
Reason 5 is a pain in the butt and slightly depressing when you think about it. There are people who would work out if they could but just don't have the ability. Mama Doodle for instance has a bad case of scoliosis and can't even go shopping without having to stop for a break because her back hurts her so much.
So, with all those reasons being said, here are some easy exercises and tips to burn calories, get stronger, and/or entertain yourself in the laziest way possible.
1. Chew sugar free gum. Get that jaw a movin' and also get a yummy flavor. When I am working at a desk this keeps me from snacking on bad foods and is beneficial to my social life. Now I know when people avoid me, it can't be my bad breath!
2. Take the stairs. I know we have all heard it before, but it really does help. Take a peek and if nobody is around then try to jog up there to get the heart rate going. If people are nearby just quicken the pace and slap a really determined or worried look on to make it look like you are in a rush to go somewhere really important (not to the second floor to spy on the hot co-worker again).
3. Stretch. It's easy and it feels good. If you sit at a desk, lift your legs up straight to stretch those hamies. Do a fake yawn with a nice stretch of the arms.
4. Drink a lot of water. Not only is it important and good for you, but you get up and walk to the bathroom often. Every bit of moving helps!
5. Offer help. If you are eating lunch with some friends and someone says, "Drat, I forgot napkins." You can pitch in, "I'll get them!" and go sprint of to bring the napkins back. Not only are you helping a friend out but you are burning a few calories too.
6. Do simple workouts while watching TV. Hmm watching TV or go work out? Do both! During a commercial break do some crunches or easy ab workouts. Also* Do NOT eat while watching television.
7. Butt squeezes. When you're working around the house or walking in the office, do some butt squeezes (have you seen scary movie?) This will help tone that booty.
8. Ride a bike. If you have back problems and it is hard for you to run or walk then try to ride a bike every once in a while. It will feel great to get some fresh air and get the blood flowing.
Well that's all I got for now.Hopefully you find at least one of these tips helpful.
There's hope for everyone, even the lazy people like me....or that's what I tell myself.
Until next time,
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
1. We are too busy.
2. We are too tired.
3. We are too lazy.
4. We are indifferent.
5. We have some type of disability that hinders our ability.
Reasons 1 and 2 go hand in hand with one another. You go to work all day and come home to deal with the family or the kids and have no time or energy to take a jog around the block. If you are a student you find yourself torn between hitting the gym or studying for that final coming up (i.e. going to the party that night) You would obviously go "study".
Reason number 3, well....you are simply lazy. Trust me, I understand.
Reason 4 is for the people who do not care about losing weight, working out, or getting that nice physique. Some of these indifferent people are those lucky sons of guns who do not have to do diddley squat to stay thin. Others just don't let the media or the perspective of peers influence them. Reason 4 would be the life.
Reason 5 is a pain in the butt and slightly depressing when you think about it. There are people who would work out if they could but just don't have the ability. Mama Doodle for instance has a bad case of scoliosis and can't even go shopping without having to stop for a break because her back hurts her so much.
So, with all those reasons being said, here are some easy exercises and tips to burn calories, get stronger, and/or entertain yourself in the laziest way possible.
1. Chew sugar free gum. Get that jaw a movin' and also get a yummy flavor. When I am working at a desk this keeps me from snacking on bad foods and is beneficial to my social life. Now I know when people avoid me, it can't be my bad breath!
2. Take the stairs. I know we have all heard it before, but it really does help. Take a peek and if nobody is around then try to jog up there to get the heart rate going. If people are nearby just quicken the pace and slap a really determined or worried look on to make it look like you are in a rush to go somewhere really important (not to the second floor to spy on the hot co-worker again).
3. Stretch. It's easy and it feels good. If you sit at a desk, lift your legs up straight to stretch those hamies. Do a fake yawn with a nice stretch of the arms.
4. Drink a lot of water. Not only is it important and good for you, but you get up and walk to the bathroom often. Every bit of moving helps!
5. Offer help. If you are eating lunch with some friends and someone says, "Drat, I forgot napkins." You can pitch in, "I'll get them!" and go sprint of to bring the napkins back. Not only are you helping a friend out but you are burning a few calories too.
6. Do simple workouts while watching TV. Hmm watching TV or go work out? Do both! During a commercial break do some crunches or easy ab workouts. Also* Do NOT eat while watching television.
7. Butt squeezes. When you're working around the house or walking in the office, do some butt squeezes (have you seen scary movie?) This will help tone that booty.
8. Ride a bike. If you have back problems and it is hard for you to run or walk then try to ride a bike every once in a while. It will feel great to get some fresh air and get the blood flowing.
Well that's all I got for now.Hopefully you find at least one of these tips helpful.
There's hope for everyone, even the lazy people like me....or that's what I tell myself.
Until next time,
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
Friday, July 29, 2011
The Doodle Family
Let me introduce you to the Doodle family
Here is Mama Doodle. She is an Elementary school teacher with an Elementary school teacher personality along with a dash of alarming bluntness. She is the type of mother who has the best advice to give her children but is not afraid to tell them the truth. For instance, she always feels the need to inform me that I am a disgusting human being for not shaving my legs often enough.
Above is Papa Doodle. He is a high school teacher with a high school teacher personality along with a handful of insanity. He lives his life like he is in a Seinfeld episode. Enough said.
Big Doodle is two years older than I am and a brilliant writer. He lacks common sense occasionally and he always keeps me laughing. He is truly the kindest person I know.
While Big Doodle is the brains of the family Little Doodle is the beauty. She is a feisty teenager with an ego bigger than the size of the state she lives in. She has been known to look at her own reflection on the back of a spoon when putting away the dishes.
Meme and Papaw Doodle have been married for half a century. A retired doctor, Papaw Doodle was the southern breadwinner while Meme Doodle stayed at home with their four kids. He has an obsession of farming tools, welding, and random metal items that most people have never heard of. The last ranch he and Meme Doodle moved out of had so many items scattered throughout the pasture that there was more metal than grass showing. One of these items was a car carrier. Yes, you read correctly. A car carrier. He is a unique man to say the least.
Meme Doodle is a woman with the patience of a Saint. she raised four children who are all special and interesting in their own way. She had Mama Doodle, another daughter who is now a successful pharmacist, a son who is married to a beautiful woman living in the Philippines (long story), and another son who was probably the most difficult kid to raise. My favorite story Mama Doodle would tell me when I was younger about her youngest brother was the time he peed in the dishwasher. Like I mentioned before, patience of a Saint that one.
Then there is me, Snoodle Doodle Jr., a poor college student whose mouth always manages to get her into some sort of trouble.
Fortunate for me, all the Doodles are as weird as I am so I have always felt loved. Unfortunately for me, our weirdness has caused us all- mainly me- times of utter embarrassment and pure humiliation.
I still wouldn't change a thing about them.
Until next time,
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
Above is Papa Doodle. He is a high school teacher with a high school teacher personality along with a handful of insanity. He lives his life like he is in a Seinfeld episode. Enough said.
Big Doodle is two years older than I am and a brilliant writer. He lacks common sense occasionally and he always keeps me laughing. He is truly the kindest person I know.
Meme Doodle is a woman with the patience of a Saint. she raised four children who are all special and interesting in their own way. She had Mama Doodle, another daughter who is now a successful pharmacist, a son who is married to a beautiful woman living in the Philippines (long story), and another son who was probably the most difficult kid to raise. My favorite story Mama Doodle would tell me when I was younger about her youngest brother was the time he peed in the dishwasher. Like I mentioned before, patience of a Saint that one.
Then there is me, Snoodle Doodle Jr., a poor college student whose mouth always manages to get her into some sort of trouble.
Fortunate for me, all the Doodles are as weird as I am so I have always felt loved. Unfortunately for me, our weirdness has caused us all- mainly me- times of utter embarrassment and pure humiliation.
I still wouldn't change a thing about them.
Until next time,
Snoodle Doodle Jr.
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